Tire Store Report - Tennessee

Another excellent effort by the Commissioner’s Son & Heir.  Many thanks.

We have heard it said that the worst thing you can receive from an enemy is not hate, but pity.  So, for the last few days, we’ve tried to work up a little sympathy for the Tennessee Vols.  It even seemed to be working there for just a bit.  Safe to say that Tennessee has suffered through a raft of injuries, has a terrible record against the SEC, has a coaching staff that appears to be, shall we say, struggling, and has missed a chance to take charge of the eastern division of the conference during an era when it has been relatively weak.   Plus, they have to wear that “puke-inside-of-a-pumpkin-orange”.  And then there was the game.

We tend to think the word “mistake” is getting stretched far beyond its original meaning.  When we leave the store at night and forget to lock the front door that is a mistake.  Not tightening the lug nuts on a wheel before the boss takes the car on the test drive down the Atlanta Highway is, too.  (Looking at you, Mr. Poole).  The point being, there’s a difference between a mistake and exercising really poor judgment -- not to mention demonstrating just out-and-out rottenness.   

This shows up on the football field.  Both wide receivers standing near the line of scrimmage watching the game when the play call was the flea flicker was a mistake on someone’s part.  Forgetting the snap count and false starting, yes, that’s a mistake, too.  We feel some pity in those situations. 

However, there were events in the game on Saturday that, despite the descriptions we’ve heard from several sources, were not “mistakes”.  Not once, but twice, the same Tennessee defensive lineman was flagged for “Hands to the Face.”  That was putting it about as nicely as possible.  That rule is in place to keep (mostly) linemen from grabbing their opponent by or under the facemask and pushing them backwards.   Such should be against the rules.  The physical dangers are obvious.   On Saturday, “hands to the face,” didn’t really accurately describe what happened.  The Tennessee defensive lineman was  grabbing Jonah Williams by the throat and (we presume) squeezing as he pushed him backwards towards the quarterback.  So that wasn’t a mistake, it was a choice.  I mean, once you find your hand grasping someone’s throat, is it that hard to, you know, let go?  We do not mean to imply that the Tennessee coaching staff is teaching that move.  However, it happened twice.  We do blame the coaching staff for not putting a stop to it after the first time.   An old coach of ours used to say “once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”  That move looked like a habit.

Then there was the “mistake” by the Tennessee player in the Alabama end zone.  He chose to make a gesture to the crowd at a time when he was sure the cameras would be on him.  For a family-type blog let us just say that he chose to express the utmost disdain and disrespect he could manage while not being able to be heard verbally.  With both hands.   Again, we heard this described as a “mistake”.  We have a hard time stretching the concept quite that far.  Crass?  Yes.  Classless?  Most certainly.  The functional equivalent of adding one and one and getting eleven? 

And so, despite the predicament that the football program up in Knoxville seems to have worked itself into, we are going to have to say that as much as we’d like to pity them, we just can’t do it. 

Speaking of pity, we feel sorry for everyone who had to sit through the lousy officiating job done by the Three Stooges Crew of Mark Curles.  Or, as we like to call them, Curles, Larry and Moe.  (Actually, that’s an insult to Moe.)

As usual, there were egregious calls and non-calls in this game.  For our money, the very worst was the non-call of the block in the back on the Tennessee interception return that changed the play from being a Tennessee first down at about the 45 to a touchdown.  We will certainly listen to an argument that the block in the back they did call, as ably described by the CS&H, was worse.  The crew seemed to need to have an extensive huddle to figure out which rule to apply and how.   Fumbles out of your own end zone are a weird and relatively rarely-presented situation.  We don’t claim to know all the rules and how to explain them all -- but if we wore striped shirts, whistles, and knee socks every Saturday, we’d darn sure understand the rule book.

For what it is worth, this is not particularly new.  Back in 2009 Curles and his crew gained the distinction of being the first SEC officiating crew ever publicly-suspended for poor work. 

The pitiful part for us is the expression on the faces of the coaches as they watch events unfold.  It reminds us of when we used to have a youth baseball team.  The umpires for the younger leagues tended to be in the 15 and 16 year old range.  They had taken the job because it was better than working the drive thru window at Taco Bell.  On a basis about as regularly as you would expect, they would miss an obvious call, not understand when a play was a force play or whether a tag had to be applied, etc.  Your first season or so dealing with them could be terribly frustrating.  After that, however, most of the coaches would just adopt an attitude of “life’s too short” and after a minute or so of trying to explain that the first phrase of the infield fly rule reads “When less than two are out….”  When it went against you, the other coach would just give you a sympathetic shake of the head.  When it was for you, then you just figured this sort of thing evened out over a season and it wasn’t like you were trying to get in the NLDS.  They were minimum wage jobs and you get what you are able to pay for.

All that to say, we have started to note the same expressions of frustration, disdain, and well, resignation on the faces of SEC head football coaches.  Saban occasionally still has a hissy fit at the officials, but you can tell his heart really isn’t in it.  He’s protecting his players, but he knows nothing is going to improve the situation.  He is the dean of SEC football coaches so he knows better than anyone alive, us included.  The consequences of sorry officiating are great in each circumstance – Jones trying to save his job, Saban trying to reach ever loftier heights in the coaching pantheon while putting his deserving team in position to play for a championship.  We cannot imagine the pressure of doing that knowing that you’re going to have all of it hanging in the balance while Shemp and Curly Joe do everything but poke one another in the eyes and say “Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk”.

In any event, the regular season is now two-thirds over.  It doesn’t quite seem possible.  Alabama definitely needs to rest and heal.  Little things (which could become big things down the stretch) need to be cleaned up.  A couple of guys look just a step slower than in the past.  Punt catching has turned into an adventure that would drive a middle school coach crazy.  Former starters who have been healing need to resume their places on the field.  Fundamentals, from swing passes to open field blocking, have gotten a little sloppy.  We’ve probably developed some tendencies that tip off our play calls and blitzes.

On the other hand, it is important to remember just how outstanding the Alabama football program is at this juncture, on both a current and an historic level.  Without the two kneel downs to end the game, Alabama would have outgained Tennessee by 500 yards.  In this week’s polls, Alabama received every single first place vote, both in the AP and Coaches’ versions.   Sunday marked the 98^th time that Alabama has been ranked #1 in the AP poll.  A new poll will be released next Sunday and it seems highly unlikely that with Alabama’s bye this week another team will pass it into the top spot, which will give Alabama sole possession of third place on the list of Most Weeks Ranked #1.  (Oklahoma has been #1 ranked for 101 weeks.  Ohio State holds the top spot at 105.) 

Next Saturday night, the first College Football Playoff poll for this season will be released.  Alabama has participated every playoff since the program was instituted.  Tennessee?  Not so much.

Hate the Volunteers?  You bet.  Feel sorry for them?  Nah, not so much.

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Tennessee Grades

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It was the best of times,
It was the worst of times,
It was the age of wisdom,
It was the age of foolishness,
It was the epoch of belief,
It was the epoch of incredulity,
It was the season of national championships,
It was the season of champions of life.
There was the greatest coach in college football history at the Capstone,
There was a deranged, purple-faced clown on Rocky Top.

With apologies to Charles Dickens, I think my version is a bit more relevant to the current situation.

On a beautiful third Saturday in October, the Alabama Crimson Tide dominated an incredibly overwhelmed squad of Tennessee Volunteers.  Bama outgained the hill-folk by almost 500 yards.  They hit UT's redshirt freshman quarterback on what seemed like every play.  Even the Tide's own mistakes, of which there were many, did little more than keep the game from being a shut out.  Tennessee head coach Lyle Jones is almost certainly a dead man walking.  Heck, by the time you read this he might already be unemployed.  Jones owns the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd largest defeats in the continuous history of the Bama-Tennessee series.

It was the 100th meeting between Alabama and Tennessee.  Having won the most and second-most conference championships, these are the two most storied and successful programs in SEC history.  I'm not sure they've ever been farther apart.

Here's how I graded the game:


OFFENSE  -  A-

The Tide amassed 604 yards of offense (332 passing, 272 rushing).  Jalen Hurts was 13-of-21 for 198 and a touchdown, while Tua Tagovailoa was 9-of-12 for 134 and another TD.  Tua's lone interception that was returned for Tennessee's only points (and their only touchdown in over 14 quarters of play), contributed to the slight grade reduction, as did some odd playcalling from Brian Daboll (shocking, I know).

Damien Harris was, once again, the Tide's leading rusher with 72 yards and a touchdown on 13 carries.  Josh Jacobs and Najee Harris both had solid games, running for 47 and 50 yards, respectively.  Tua added a rushing touchdown on a nifty run that left a Tennessee DB searching for his self-respect.  Bo Scarbrough had a rough outing, averaging only 2 yards on 9 carries, though he did have 2 touchdowns, both on fourth down.

Calvin Ridley led the way with 8 catches for 82 yards, including several that moved the chains.  Irv Smith caught a touchdown, and would have had another had he not fumbled through the endzone.  Fortunately, his fumble was negated by a UT penalty (more on that later).  Henry Ruggs III maintained his trend of only catching touchdowns by pulling in a nice pass from Tua, and then turning on the jets for a 60 yard score.


DEFENSE  -  A+

The Bama defense was fantastic.  They held the Volunteer offense to 108 total yards and no points.  They were much, much more physical.  They won the trenches on just about every snap, of which Tennessee only ran 46.  Alabama had 4 sacks, led by Levi Wallace with 2, 8 QB hurries, and 9 tackles for loss.  Rashaan Evans was all over the field, notching 6 tackles (4 solo), a sack and 2 TFLs.

Tennessee quarterback Jarrett Guarantano, who was making his first road start, was harassed all day.  A more mobile QB than the guy he replaced, Guarantano attempted to scramble and take off, and time after time he was levelled.  In a coaching decision that effectively summarizes his entire tenure, Jones opted to let the final seconds of the first half tick down until only 2 were left before calling a timeout and attempting a hail mary.  Guarantano was forced out of the pocket, and was creamed by two Tide defenders.  Tennessee must have an ordained priest on their sideline, because I'm convinced I saw Guarantano's soul briefly leave his body; he might have preferred to continue on toward the light rather than face what the second half would bring.  To the kid's credit, he kept standing in there and taking shots.  He certainly deserved a long ice bath.

Perhaps the best moment for the Tide defense came after Tennessee was gifted the ball in the redzone by a fumbled punt.  The Vols made it to the one foot line before moving backward.  On 4th and goal, Mack Wilson intercepted the pass, and the Vols' humiliation was complete.


SPECIAL TEAMS  -

PLACE KICKING  -  A

Pappanastos was a perfect 6/6 on PATs and notched a 25 yard field goal.  JK Scott booted most of his kickoffs for touchbacks.  The only reason this doesn't get the + was because UT got one decent return that was helped by a procedure penalty.


PUNTING  -  F

I can't speak for the Commissioner, but I refuse to award any passing grade as long as the Tide continues to drop punt returns.  Scott kicked twice with a long of 50 and one punt dropped inside the 20.


COACHING  -  D-

This may seem harsh.  Shoot, maybe it is.  As I already mentioned, Daboll temporarily maintained his mantra "If it ain't broke, break it."  But all-in-all, it wasn't a bad outing.  The defensive staff did a stellar job of preparation and on-field coaching.  A solid gameplan is the only reason this grade is barely passing.

It is inconceivable to me that Bama can't find anyone that can consistently field a punt.  We have 9 muffed or fumbled punts on the season.  We have 5 fumbled or muffed punts in the past 2 GAMES!  And 3 different players contributed to those numbers!  How is this possible?!?!  This area of our team is so bad it's pathetic.  Until this gets fixed, the coaching grade simply cannot be any higher.


OFFICIATING  -  If there were a 27th letter in the English alphabet, it would be that.

The Correspondent from the Tire Store will, I'm sure, delve into this a bit more.  Let me just say this: Marc Curles' crew might be the worst in the generally putrid ranks of SEC officials.

Just a few highlights:
- A block in the back wherein the blocker hit the defender in the gut
- Incorrectly assessing a personal foul on a play that featured a turnover  (The SEC's head off officials gave an explanation for this that made absolutely no sense)
- Repeating 3rd down following a defensive holding call rather than awarding an automatic first

It boggles the mind.


Whether this week, next week, or by season's end, Lyle Jones is going to lose his job.  He deserves it.  His team plays with no discipline.  His playcalling is predictable and moronic.  He cares more about how he is portrayed in the media than he is about doing the one thing that makes coaches effectively immune from criticism: winning.

I don't know that I've ever seen a display of overt classlessness like what UT defensive back Rashaan Gaulden pulled.  Immediately following a 97 yard pick six by Daniel Bituli, Gaulden flipped a double-barrelled bird toward the Alabama student section.  He was appropriately assessed a 15 yard penalty on the subsequent kickoff, though it would have been justifiable if he'd been ejected.  This kid decided that, in spite of the fact that his team was down 28-6, and in spite of the fact that he wasn't even the one that made the play, he was going to make the situation all about himself in the most crass way possible.  Because Lyle Jones has no control over his team, Gaulden didn't miss a snap.  To Gaulden's credit, he issued what seemed to be a sincere apology after the game.  Still, his actions are an embarrassment to his team, and an indictment of his coach.

UT has lost 11 straight games to Alabama, which ties the mark for the longest streak in series history (1971-1981).  Nick Saban has been the head man at Alabama during all 11 wins, while the streak has eaten up 4 different Tennessee coaches.  It is all but certain that number 12 will come against a fifth.

The Commissioner will be back in two weeks for Bama's most important game of the season.  Thanks for indulging me in his absence.  Roll Tide.

The Commissioner's Son & Heir

Tire Store Report -- Arkansas

Thanks for filling in for your father and legator in his absence.  A splendid job.  He will be proud of you and your efforts.

OK, we might as well get this out of the way at the beginning.  We said last week that Matt Austin's sorry officiating crew was considered one of the better ones in the SEC.  Saturday night was evidence of the fact that that distinction is sort of like being the highest scoring player on the Washington Generals basketball team.

Alabama finally had an opponent called for holding on the offensive line.  It took a full-on MMA style take down effort to get the flag, but it did happen.  We suspect it wasn't that Arkansas was holding any worse than, say, Mississippi or Texas A&M, it is just that various media members were talking about it publicly and (we hope) University officials were discussing it privately with the Conference office.  That doesn't mean that the game was well-called.  For the second time in two weeks a very questionable pass reception by the other team did not merit a review.  Which is ok, if the new rule is that we aren't going to look at as many plays as we have.  Though they then have to explain why a catch by Ridley (correctly called on the field and confirmed by the replay booth) was reviewed for several minutes.  Perhaps close play reviews that might benefit Alabama just aren't allowed now.

The Umpire in Saturday's game (we do not know his name, we call him Keymaster because he wears a pair of thick black glasses that make him look like the Rick Moranis character in Ghostbusters) nearly lost his life.  Look, we understand that the officials have to stand somewhere in the field of play to do their job.  However, when the offensive line opens a gaping hole up the middle and #34 starts through it, you probably want to move to one side or the other of his projected path.  Instead, it was like Keymaster just froze.

Maybe he was doing one of those hard math calculations -- Mass x Acceleration = Pain.  Or maybe his brain just froze like a small furry animal on the railroad tracks while the 7:18 from Tuscaloosa is roaring right at it, horn blowing and lights shining and totally terrifying.  Or maybe it is in the Official SEC Officiating Handbook for Dummies (oops, redundant) "In the event a gigantic human being is bearing down on you at a high rate of speed during the course of play, close your eyes, click your heels together three times and say 'there's no place like home.'"  Whatever.

Usually we are in the school of not being too critical if we probably couldn't do it any better.  But y'all, this happened twice.  We might have just stood there and tried not to ruin our fancy white knickers the first time.  The second time we'd at least have run towards the sideline a step or two, trying not to scream like Mr. Poole did that time the 2-inch hose blew on the hydraulic lift while he was in the grease pit.  Enough being funny.  That zebra gets his posterior out of the way and we think Harris and Alabama have another touchdown. Maybe next time Harris should just truck him and we'll see if his replacement has any better reflexes.

People say that Alabama fans are paranoid.  Maybe.  Even paranoids have real enemies.  If the various officiating crews in the SEC cannot fairly be characterized as Alabama's enemies, let us hope we don't ever make any.

The A grade for the defense was well-deserved.  This bunch is getting better week by week.  Isaiah Buggs (who we hope is ok) is filling in nicely for Da'Shawn Hand.  LaBryan Ray has gotten quality snaps.  Josh Frazier is making an impact at nose.  So overall, the depth along the defensive line should be coming up to standard.  Former walkon Levi Wallace (note: apparently you have to say it that way every time, as CBS and ESPN insist on doing) has quietly become a national leader at his position.  Despite missing three key defensive starters from opening day, it just never felt like the Razorback offense was much of a threat.  If their offensive line keeps playing like it did Saturday, they are going to need 275-pound quarterbacks, just to take the pounding.  The play of our defensive front is a compliment to our recruiting, coaching, and the hard work of the individual players to realize their potential.

We agree that watching the offense can be frustrating.  Hurts threw two roll out passes that were just beautiful.  Never even tried it again.  The offensive line, especially on the left side, continues to open holes so wide you could push, not drive, a Dodge Dart through them.  Pass blocking is still a work in progress, especially along the right side.  And the play-calling, well, it seems to us like even though we are headed for the eighth game of the season we are still using actual games to experiment with different plays on offense.  I guess it's good if you can get away with it.  We agree with you, CS&H, it can make for very frustrating viewing.   Saban himself described it as "vanilla".

Minkah Fitzpatrick, who could arguably be named All-SEC at about three different positions, got included in a nifty little ESPN graphic about the Heisman, though we don't know why they insist on using the same format for it that the local news uses to show the four guys being sought in connection with the liquor store hold up.  Perhaps he will get the courtesy defensive player invitation to New York.  We hope so.  What we cannot figure out is why Damien Harris is never mentioned.  All the TV talking heads want to say that the award is Saquon Barkley's to lose.  We agree he is an exciting athlete -- so far this season he has 102 carries for 649 yards and 6 TDs.  Very impressive.  Harris has 68 carries for 625 yards and 9 TDs.   Maybe he just doesn't play enough.  Can you imagine the numbers if Harris was not on a team with four or five other quality running backs?  Anyway, it just struck us that perhaps, just perhaps, there are other pretty good players out there that aren't getting enough attention.

Although the question wasn't very artfully worded, Saban did give a response at his press conference about the punt muffs.  Apparently a technique error noted by the staff needs to be remedied.  Namely, the players are coached to get their fingertips up at eye level so that there isn't a blind spot before they catch the ball.  Sounds fairly detailed.  We guess the real issue is the pressure-inducing decision-making process -- do I run? Fair catch? Let it bounce? This just has to get cleaned up.  Our punter gives us the chance to flip the field on every exchange of punts -- but not if we ricochet the ball off our chests towards 11 on-rushing players from the other team every time.  Sheesh.

One other thing on special teams.  We agree that the kicking game is important and therefore using your best players for it makes sense.  Given Harris's value to the over all effort though, we are not sure that someone else couldn't handle his spot on punt coverage.  We saw a little whiff of just how bad that could turn out Saturday night.   Would an opposing punt player consider taking a shot at one of the best running backs in college football? 

With that said, we are happy to say that our place kicking seems to be settling down.   For fear of jinxing it before the rest of the season, we'll just tap gently on the wooden counter top and say no more.

On to Tennessee.  Yes, it's been over 4000 days.  Yes, their program appears to be a mess.  Yes, we saw last year's game.  We still owe these guys.  We owe them big.  We expect the coaches will be focused on reminding the players to play up to Alabama's standards, not just meeting the level of the competition.  There's lots of speculation that this will be Butch "Sgt. Carter" Jones's last visit to Tuscaloosa as the head coach at Tennessee.  We hope Alabama turns in the sort of performance that makes him happy he doesn't have to return in 2019.  They low down, they dirty....

Roll Tide, everyone.

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Arkansas Grades

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I am, perhaps, a glass half-empty kind of person.  It's not that I'm overly negative or pessimistic, it's just that I'm too eager to see the minor failures amidst the major successes.  Maybe "glass half-empty" is too harsh; perhaps it would be more accurate to say that I focus too much on the cloud despite the brilliant, glowing silver lining.

It's from that perspective that I approach this week's grades.  By any objective measure, Alabama played very well against an inferior opponent, that being the fighting Pigs from Arkansas.  Bama won by more than 4 touchdowns, and the score wasn't really reflective of how thoroughly Bama owned the game.  The contest was, for all intents and purposes, over when Bama took a 17 - 0 lead midway through the first quarter.  But, I find it hard to get overly excited about beating up on an undeniably bad team.

However, if this weekend proves anything, it's to never take any win for granted.  If it's difficult to get excited about beating an inferior opponent, then I would be wise to recall how it feels to lose such a game.  Ask Clemson (lost at Syracuse), or Washington (lost at Arizona State), Washington St (blown out at Cal).  All three were undefeated Top 10 teams, and all took it on the chin from far weaker competition.  We can throw Auburn into that mix, as well, as they came in to Baton Rouge with 1-loss and a Top 10 ranking.  After building a 20 - 0 first half lead, the barners were outscored the rest of the way by an astounding 27 - 3.

So, yes, it is important to appreciate the fact that Alabama did exactly what they were supposed to do in easily dispatching an SEC also-ran.

But, Bama played far from a perfect game, and as such they will receive far from perfect grades.  Here's how I saw it:


OFFENSE - B+

Bama gained 496 yards of offense with 308 of those coming on the ground.  The Tide ran it 43 times for an average of 7.2 yards per carry.  Damien Harris continues to be the offense's bell cow, rushing 9 times for 125 yards and 2 TDs.  4 other backs carried the ball, with Bo Scarbrough getting 7 touches for 65 yards.  Jalen Hurts had 10 carries for 41 yards and a TD, though his numbers are affected by sacks (college football desperately needs to adjust how sack totals are assessed).  Hurts moved to second all-time, behind the great Harry Gilmer, in the Alabama record books for rushing yards by a quarterback.

Hurts was 12-of-19 passing for 155, including a beautiful 20 yard TD strike to Henry Ruggs III.  Ruggs has 4 catches on the year, all of them for touchdowns.  If he's only going to catch touchdowns, maybe we should throw the ball to Ruggs more often.  Hurts also notched his first interception of the year on a pass where his receiver was open, but the ball was thrown behind him.  The Tide's leading receiver, as always, was Calvin Ridley, who had 4 catches for 51 yards.  7 different receivers caught at least one pass.

The offense had 4 drives of over 60 yards, all of which resulted in touchdowns.  They went 5-for-11 on third downs.  However, I could not award an A after the offense went 3-and-out three times in the first half.


DEFENSE - A

The stop troops had a very solid outing.  They held Arkansas to only 227 total yards, which included a paltry 27 yards rushing on 29 attempts (yes, the Pigs netted less than a yard per carry).  Bama had 9 tackles for loss, with Rashaan Evans leading the way with 3.5

Injury forced Arkansas to give Cole Kelley his first start at quarterback, and while the young man didn't have an amazing game, one cannot fault his toughness.  He got hit a lot, and kept standing into to deliver the ball.  He was also very difficult to bring down, which makes the Tide's 5 sacks all the more impressive.  Evans once again led the way with 2 sacks, while Shaun Dion Hamilton and Raekwon Davis each had 1.5.  Mack Wilson also snagged a late interception on a tip by Hootie Jones.

Arkansas went 5 for 18 on third down, which is good, but they managed 2 for 3 on fourth down, which is not.

I didn't feel that an A+ was deserved after the second unit gave up a garbage time touchdown drive that was aided by more than 40 yards of penalties.


Placekicking - A+

JK Scott was solid on kickoffs, with several touchbacks.  The kicks that were returned were met with solid coverage, all but once limiting the Hogs to worse starting field position than they would have had on a touchback.  Ruggs returned two kicks for a total of 40 yards.

Andy Pappanastos was 2/2 on field goals and 5/5 on extra points.


Punting - D-

The only reason the punt units received a passing grade is that Scott averaged 43.7 yards on three punts and did not allow a return.

Our punt returners have become the single biggest concern on this team.  After dropping multiple punts thru the first 6 weeks of the season, the bottom dropped out last night.  Ruggs muffed two kicks, losing one.  Trevon Diggs muffed another.  To put it kindly, this is unacceptable.  The single most important job of a punt returner is to catch the ball.  If there is no one on the roster who is capable of doing so, then the coaches should simply put 11 guys on the line and try to block every punt.  It may cost the Tide field position, but it won't come with the risk of giving the ball right back to the opponent.


Coaching - D+

Jeremy Pruitt and the defensive staff earned the same letter grade as their players.  The defense was well prepared, and played solid football until the second stringers came in at the end.

Special teams coach Bobby Williams also earned the same letter grade as his unit.  The Tide absolutely must get better in this area.

The most concerning aspect of the Tide's coaching efforts in on the offensive side of the ball.  Brian Daboll's playcalling is, at times, absolutely baffling.  There was a joke around North Carolina basketball in the 80s that posited that the only person capable of stopping Michael Jordan was UNC head coach Dean Smith.  The same seems to be equally true of Daboll and the Bama running game.  For example: Damien Harris has gained 625 yards on the season on only 68 carries.  That's an average on over 9 yards per carry.  He has 9 touchdowns.  Harris has yet to touch the ball 15 times in any game this season.  With all due respect to the other backs on the roster, Harris should be touching the ball more often.  If this is simply an effort to save Harris' legs, then I can accept that.  But I would need to see it over the last half of the year.

But it goes beyond that.  Daboll has a Kiffin-esque tendency to call passes and misdirections even when running right up the gut has worked to perfection.  Take the first two series of the game.  On the first play of the game, Harris took a counter play and ran thru a massive hole created by the offensive line.  75 yards later, Bama was on the board.  After going 3-and-out, Arkansas gifted Alabama the ball at their own 25 after a botched snap on the punt.  Rather than going right up the middle again, Bama went pass, outside run, pass, field goal.  That is inexcusable.  Daboll also has an infuriating habit of calling for long, slow-developing pass plays rather than running screens, slants, or intermediate routes.  Opponents have been bull-rushing these plays and disrupting them behind the line because Hurts has to keep the ball too long.

Look, I am not a football coach.  No one in his right mind would ever pay me to call plays.  But I understand the simple logic "Do what works until it doesn't."  There is no sense in doing what works until you feel like doing something that doesn't.  Bama's offensive playcalling and execution is not, at the moment, good enough to beat the top teams in the country.  This must improve and it must improve in a hurry.

[takes a deep breath]

Okay.  It's out of my system.  I can truly appreciate another solid effort from Alabama in a year that's been full of them.  This win may go a long way in costing Arkansas head coach Curly Howard his job.  Howard is in his fifth season in Fayetteville, and the Hogs are 27-30 under his watch (10-25 in the SEC).  Howard has learned the hard way that the SEC is not the Big 10.

Bama's next opponent, the Volunteers from Tennessee, also employ a coach squarely on the hot seat.  Lyle Jones' squad is 3-3 (0-3 in the SEC) and has not scored a touchdown in over ten quarters of play.  Tennessee is terrible against the run.  Bama must pound them, pound them again, and pound them some more.  There is no such thing as running up the score on Tennessee.

I am responsible for the grades for one more week, and I truly believe that next week will bring a silver lining that keeps even me from seeing the cloud.

Roll Tide,
The Commissioner's Son and Heir

Tire Store Report Texas A&M

Thanks, Commissioner.  We might quibble on a couple of those grades as being a slight bit generous.  Not enough to matter on the overall GPA, though.  

We are concerned that every phase of the game, and some of the coaching as well, seemed not to be to a standard, especially at the point in the game where we felt like Alabama went from having a chance to make the Aggies quit, to letting them make it interesting.  You are have already ably chronicled the whole ugly sequence.  Bottom line, we catch a pass short of the first down and fumble, losing the ball, momentum, and the chance to flip the field all in one forgettable minute.  After that point, things didn’t really seem right until Alabama’s final offensive drive, though even there why we chose to run outside on third and two when Texas A&M’s defense had successfully sold out to stop edge rushes for the entire half is a head-scratcher – bad call, badly executed.  In any event, all of the things that served to make the last half of the game as frustrating as a rusted-on lug nut came together in a conglomeration of lack of concentration, ill-timed penalties, injuries, and plain old bad luck.  The good news is that despite all that, the team had the resilience, despite its relative youth, to win the game.

Officiating:  Here is a sad fact of life for you.  The SEC Office considers Matt Austin’s officiating crew one of its best and most experienced.  Now, admittedly, that is setting the bar low enough that it would take hydraulic equipment from John Deere to get it any lower.  “Congratulations, you have the lowest starting weight on this season’s “Biggest Loser”.  Seriously, have you seen the sequence in the Kentucky / Missouri game?  Or the SEC’s follow-up press release about how it was called wrong and handled badly?  What in the world?  Part of the officiating issue in the SEC is that the consequences of doing an inferior job as an officiating crew are that the League Office issues a press release saying you got it wrong.  Move on.  Nothing to see here.

If Alabama had an “off night” for this season on Saturday, then Austin’s crew had the off night of a decade.  The missed calls were numerous – poor Jalen nearly had his head pulled off on a facemask that wasn’t flagged, Levi Wallace got called for pass interference on a ball that Manute Bol couldn’t have reached in bounds with a step stool and stickum, Aggie defensive players found out that lining up at or over the line of scrimmage would not be penalized and therefore had a head start all night….  Feel free to look around the internet today at the various photos of Alabama’s defensive linemen being held, grabbed, tackled -- in one case our defensive lineman is running across the field with an Aggie on his back like he is getting a piggy back ride.  We're serious.  In fact, we don’t know who the Alabama player is because he you can’t even see his number.  The thing that really gets our goat is why Kirk’s fourth down/touchdown reception was not reviewed.  We'rem not sure it was a catch and we're not sure it wasn’t.  Likely whatever was called on the field would be allowed to stand.  But they didn’t even bother to check.  Thinking back over some of the plays that have been subjected to seemingly endless reviews by all sorts of officials in various cities, we’d really like an explanation of why a play that close didn’t merit at least a quick glance.

We can find out how, say, our individual offensive linemen graded out in every game.  Supposedly the SEC officials are graded on performance game to game.  We’d love to see that report card some time.  Regular readers can skip to the next paragraph, but the best teams, with the best coaches, and the best fans in all of college football deserve first-rate officiating at their games.  We do not have it.  And it is not even close.

Coaching:  Coach Saban has used a mountain-climbing analogy for a football season lots of time.  It’s less vivid than eating rat poison, but pretty effective.  Every game is a chance to stumble and slide back from your goal of reaching the summit.  Alabama had a real chance to slip up on Saturday, but they never trailed after early in the first quarter.  It was not Alabama’s finest hour.  However, we’d sure rather be an Alabama fans than, say, rooting for Michigan or Oklahoma today.  The coaches will have an interesting couple of weeks to get this team through to the bye week.  Coach Daboll, in particular, needs some tactical work on what to do when a team is able to load the defensive line and limit running up the middle and to the edges.  I'm not sure we see another defensive line with that kind of talent till at least the end of next month.  Even so, now would be the time to think about it.

Injuries:  Starting towards the last half of last season, the injury bug has infected the Crimson Tide locker room.  It is now at nearly epidemic proportions.  Unfortunately, it is hitting in a variety of key areas.  Josh Jacobs got hurt in Fall Camp and still hasn't worked his way back to many meaningful downs.  In the very first game of the season we had four different linebackers go down to injury including two of what were projected to be our best pass rushers -- apparently for the season.  Last week, our best defensive end and perhaps our best defensive lineman, Da’Shawn Hand, went down on a dirty, if not strictly illegal, block to the side of the knee.  Center Bradley Bozeman, the acknowledged leader of the offensive line, missed the first two days of practice this week with an undisclosed limitation, though it was rumored to be a hand injury.  Calvin Ridley (if you don’t know who this is, please hit the “back” button on your browser and return to the prior website you were reading “Termites and Their Fascinating Underground Life” or whatever) had to leave the game with a leg injury.  Tony Brown, a defensive back who brings fire and vicious hitting to the safety position, sat out with an injury in the second half….

This is not meant to be an indictment of back up players.  Isaiah Buggs performed admirably at defensive end.  Freshman defensive end LaBryan Ray, who at the beginning of the season was projected to redshirt, then two weeks into the season was given a look as the largest outside linebacker in the history of the program, ended up in the game last night at defensive end and recorded statistics.  Keith Holcombe has gone from special teams standout to stalwart at linebacker.  Shyheim Carter came in at defensive back in Brown’s absence….  At risk of stating the obvious, though, this cannot be sustained.  It is time to get some players back in action.

Personal Responsibility:  So, the Commissioner has already confessed to a small shortcoming on Saturday.  He should not stand at the altar alone.  We are definitely reminding Pee Wee before he leaves Saturday that the north hydraulic rack stays up and the south one stays down on game weekends.  Perhaps it was just a small butterfly effect in the college football cosmos, but we humbly request that everyone prepare to a standard next weekend – if you have not been wearing your lucky cap, or emailing your kids the traditional “Wake up Fool, it’s game day” message, or sitting in your lucky chair, or enjoying an icy cold Coca-Cola, or putting your portrait of Coach Bryant in sight of the television set, or sporting your lucky underwear, or . . . maybe we’d best stop before we “overshare”.    Anyway, we encourage you to make a special effort this Saturday.  Something is slightly out of whack – please do your part in realigning the planets.  We need to barbeque the Hogs and do so injury-free.  Remember, it’s bad luck not to be superstitious.

We continue to be of the opinion that the only team in the conference that can beat Alabama is Alabama.  Saturday night, with some help from Matt Austin and his jolly band of travelling near-sighted convicts, we took a run at slipping off the side of the mountain.  Today, however, Alabama is undefeated, a mark currently matched by only 12 other teams of the 130 in the FBS.  We'll take that.

We expect a better, four-quarter effort against the Razorbacks for homecoming on Saturday evening.  If you are going to the game, drive carefully, enjoy the parade, and cheer the team on to victory.  

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Texas A&M Grades

                I have this ritual during football season. Every Saturday morning, before I finish breakfast, I send a text message to our adult children scattered across three time zones. It’s just a little pep message, to get things going on game day. “Hey, y’all….get up and make your bed…..it’s game day….got to beat those [fill in the blank]….we will be watching with [fill in the blank] …. Kick off is, etc., etc., and don’t forget: Roll Tide!”

            Well, yesterday morning, I got busy on something else. I had to be somewhere early, and by the time I got back it was later and I figured everybody was already about their day, and skipping one Saturday morning was no big deal. After all, have you seen how the Tide has played the last two weeks? These guys are on a mission. It’s going to come down to the Iron Bowl. Nobody on our schedule between now and then is even going to slow us down, and there was the article somebody circulated about how on fire Alabama is, so….you know…..

            I should have known better.

            Come to find out I had been drinking RAT POISON!

            At least, that is how Coach Saban described it in his post-game presser: “I’m trying to get our players to listen to me instead of listening to you guys. All that stuff that you write about how good we are and all that stuff they get on ESPN is like poison. It’s like taking poison. Like rat poison. I’m asking them: ‘are you going to listen to me or are you going to listen to these guys about how good you are?”

            That rat poison takes a while to manifest itself, but when it does, look out! Coach Saban was not his usually happy-go-lucky self when Holly Rowe interviewed him at the half. He was obviously concerned about mistakes he saw his players making in all phases of the game. But in spite of the queasy feeling in the stomach, Bama held a 24-3 lead with 7:51 to play in the third quarter, and looked to be on the verge of adding at least two more touchdowns to the total and holding the Aggies out of the endzone. Then the poison hit.

            On first down from the Tide 37, the Tide was flagged for an ineligible receiver. On 1^st and 15, Damien Harris gained 3 yards. Robert Foster, subbing for a dinged-up Calvin Ridley, dropped a pass that would have been good for a first down. Foster was again targeted on 3^rd and 12, he made the catch but lost a fumble. …. TAMU went into business, 1^st and 10 at the Bame 36.

            It took the Aggies 8 plays, and 5:11 of game time, to make the score 24-10. Along the way, TAMU converted two 4^th downs! They gained 32 yards on a 4^th and 9, and scored their touchdown on a 4^th and goal from the Tide 2.

            After earning a first down at the 36, Bama went backwards. Following a sack, Jalen threw incomplete to Cam Sims on 3^rd and 11. Then JK Scott shanked a 19 yard punt off the side of his foot. The Aggies were in business at their own 46. 

            TAMU’s freshman QB, Kellen Mond, gained 20 yards on first down, and completed a 15 yard pass on 3^rd and 6. Two plays netted the Aggies five yards to the Alabama 10. On 3^rd and 5, Mond’s pass attempt was intercepted by Minkah Fitzpatrick just beyond the Alabama goal line.

            Damien Harris barely avoided a safety on first down, and gained two tough yards to set up a 3^rd and 8 from the Tide 3. Jalen, who was pressured all night, was unable to connect with Henry Ruggs, III and Scott came back on the field to attempt a punt with his heels at the back of the endzone.

            The punt was blocked.

            Safety.

            Aggies 12…… Tide 24…… What had been a three touchdown advantage was now just twelve points. It was the worst stretch of play the 2017 edition of the Crimson Tide has executed. Things could not get worse.

            The Tide defense surrendered a first down on a pass interference penalty on a third down play that would have been incomplete, then stiffened. Successive tackles for lost yardage and a delay of game penalty had the Aggies facing 4th and 26 from their own 24. TAMU’s punter, Shane Tripucka darn near kicked the ball clear out of Kyle Field, and Alabama took over at its own 22, with 6:49 to play in the game, needing to burn the clock and get a score….any kind of score. The offense delivered the goods.

            Jalen led the Tide on a ten-play drive that covered 52 yards, consumed 4:40 of game time and culminated in a 44-yard Andy Pappanastos field goal. A fifteen-point cushion with 2:09 to play looked like it would be enough to secure the win. Surely, the defense, having a chance to rest, would once again dominate the Aggies and close out the game…..Instead, TAMU drove 64 yards in 7 plays completing passes of 9, 12 and 39 yards in the process. As he had done earlier in the half, Mond managed to avoid the Tide rush and complete a pass to a receiver making a highlight reel catch.

            Minkah Fitzpatrick foiled the Aggies last gasp attempt at an on-sides kick and Jalen killed the game clock with one snap from the victory formation at the Aggie12 yard line.

            No disrespect to A&M. The Aggies and Tide have significant historic connections. Kyle Field is a tough place to play. But it is perfectly reasonable for Coach Saban to be frustrated how the Tide let the last 23 minutes of the game slip through its fingers. In spite of its mistakes, Alabama had the game positioned exactly where it needed to be; a 21-point advantage, possession of the football, and the opportunity to put the game away in the third quarter. Instead, the Tide left College Station relieved with a win of any size while the training staff stocked up on stomach pumps and purgatives, to get all that rat poison out of the players’ systems when they got back to Tuscaloosa.

Here is how I grade the game:

Offense:          C+                   Alabama gained 355 yards of total offense [261 rushing] that earned 16 first downs and converted 5 of 15 possession downs [1 of 1 on 4^th down]. This offensive output is almost half what the Tide averaged in its last two games.

Jalen completed 13 of 22 pass attempts for 123 yards and a TD [Ruggs, III]. Before sustaining a knee-cap injury in the 3^rd quarter, Calvin Ridley caught 5 passes for 68 yards. Bo Scarbrough caught 3 passes for 21 yards., Jerry Jeudy continued to make a noteworthy contribution to the offense with 2 receptions for 24 yards. Six different receivers caught a pass.

Damien Harris continued to lead all rushers with 129 yards on 14 carries. He scored a 75 yard TD to answer TAMU’s first quarter field goal. Jalen gained 56 net yards rushing and scored a TD. TAMU’s defense assigned a linebacker to “spy” on Jalen every down. The Aggies made 9 tackles for 28 yards of loss, including 3 sacks accounting for 19 yards.

Alabama had 5 three-and-out possessions and 5 drives that gained 40 or more yards [75, 75, 43, 75, 52]. Each of Bama’s scores came on sustained drives. Robert Foster’s lost fumble was Bama’s first turnover of the season.

Defense:           B-                   TAMU gained 308 yards of total offense and was held to only 71 net yards rushing. Tide defenders made 7 tackles for lost yardage including 4 sacks, forced 3 fumbles [Fitzpatrick, S.D. Hamilton, Joshua Frazier], recovered 2 [Raekwon Davis, Rashaan Evans] and made an interception [Fitzpatrick]. However, the defense allowed A&M to convert 2 of 4 fourth downs, and surrendered 3 first downs on defensive penalties.

Starting in place of an injured Da’Shawn Hand, Isaiah Buggs [JUCO Jr. DE; 6-5, 293; Rushton, La.] led all tacklers with 10 stops [6 solo]. Ronnie Harrison and Raekwon Davis each were credited with 8 tackles and Anfernee Jennings made 7. Tide defenders broke up 5 passes.

Special Teams:

Punting:           F          Scott punted 4 times for an average of 36.5 yards. His longest punt was 46 yards. He downed one punt inside the Aggie 20 yard line. These stats cannot overcome the 19 yard shank and the blocked punt resulting in a safety. Ruggs, III returned 3 punts for a total of 10 yards.

Place Kicking: B+      Scott missed a 50 yard attempt. Pappanastos was good from 34 and 44. He was perfect on PATs.

Kickoffs:        A-         Scott handled kickoff duties and averaged 62.3 yards per kick on 7 kicks. Three of his kicks resulted in touchbacks. TAMU’s longest return was 20 yards. Bama’s return game gained 39 yards on Minkah Fitzpatrick’s return of the on-sides attempt. It looked for a moment as if Minkah was going to score, but he ran out of room along the right sideline.

Coaching:        B         The Tide were penalized 6 times for 50 yards. The participation report lists 51 players who saw action in the game.

            I hope Our Correspondent from The Tire Store will offer some observations on how Matt Austin and his crew officiated this game. This bunch seems to be inordinately inconsistent in what gets penalized. Bama was certainly guilty of several dumb infractions. But the rules did not seem to be evenly applied.

            If you have read this far, allow me an aside to wish Coach Stallings a full recovery. It was heartening to see him join his 1967 Southwestern Conference Championship team for a well-deserved recognition. I have had the privilege of meeting Coach Stallings several times. He is one of the best.

            An authoritative medical web site has this to say about treating poison: “Treatment needs to begin quickly; treatment involves removal of poison by dialysis, chelating agents, replacement of red blood cells, and if ingested, bowel cleansing.” The on-line blurb doesn’t say anything about shutting down social media, turning off ESPN, extra film study, full-contact practice on Monday, quality time with Coach Cochran, or the other therapies Coach Saban and his staff will be applying this week as the Tide prepare for Arkansas. I think the, um, “bowl cleansing” looks like a less disagreeable alternative. There is one thing I am confident of: whatever treatment option is applied, the Tide will be ready for the Razorbacks.

            As the barbecue chef said to the hog: “I'm going to enjoy this a whole lot more than you are!”

            The Commissioners Son and Heir will be taking over grading responsibilities for the next two weeks. 

Roll Tide, Y’all

The Commissioner

 

  

           

           

           

  

            

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Tire Store Report Old Misdial

That was a lot of fun, Commissioner, both the Game and the Grades.  Down here at the Tire Store some of us go back to the late 1970s when back-to-back efforts like that used to happen sort of regularly.  Those were, shall we say, different days.

We really don't have anything to add to your excellent analysis this week.  High grades were earned all around.  We'll discuss a few things we noticed (or as the Comptroller describes it "run off at the mouth" for a bit.)

We've read some commentary over the weekend to the effect that Vanderbilt and Mississippi are just not very good teams and should take a thumping from Alabama.  Fair enough, perhaps, though there seems to be a lot of hindsight going on.  Seems like we read and heard a whole lot about Vanderbilt's #1 rated defense two weeks ago.  Last week we certainly heard about Mississippi's #1 rated passing attack (427 yards per game), its tall and fast wide receivers, and the talented quarterback who extended plays which had for several seasons been the one thing Alabama could not defend.

But by Sunday morning those two teams were now terrible, maybe the dregs of the SEC.  We don't buy it.  Missouri has lost its last three games by a combined score of 97 - 30, none of those games really being as competitive as their final scores would indicate.  They were picked preseason to be the worst football team in the SEC and are fighting valiantly to hold on to that dubious honor.  We expect Mississippi and Vanderbilt would both give Mississippi State a good game.  

Speaking of, Missouri is going to have to go to some lengths to hold onto the crown of rock bottom dweller because of an early season charge for that title from LSU, which lost to Mississippi State by 31 -- which seems only sort of bad now that LSU lost its homecoming game to Troy -- a game in which it never led.  Now, all due respect to Troy, which pulled off the biggest win in its history Saturday in Baton Rouge, but something is rotten in the bayou.  We are even getting suspicious about Guice's "injury".   Then, look at Tennessee, if you can without wincing....  Therefore, in addition to the not-too-good teams Alabama has beaten -- Mississippi and Vanderbilt, you should add LSU, Mississippi State, and Tennessee.  At this rate, we are closing up on declaring half the conference to be bad.

At this point we are one-third of the way through the regular season.  We still think the top of the conference is pretty stout -- Alabama, Georgia, and Auburn could probably give a solid account against any team in America.  Florida would be on that list if it had about a dozen fewer players indicted, but it is still a sort of dangerous team.  The issue with the conference is that, unlike some previous years, the lower level teams are apparently pretty weak.  Can't do anything except play who is on your schedule, as Urban Meyer is so fond of saying.   We hope by this time next week, we are hearing that Texas A&M really wasn't as strong as a 4-1 record would have indicated.

Getting back to Saturday night, we've even taken time to look at the Rule Book.  Whether and how one player can dive at another player's knees to achieve a block is pretty complicated, involving whether or not someone else is blocking them  and how high, what o'clock the angle of the hit is from, etc.  Bottom line, it looks like the rule is that if no one else is blocking a defensive player, an offensive player can dive at his knee from more or less straight ahead, but not from, roughly, the side or back.  The ESPN announcing crew seemed pretty certain that the block on Da'Shawn Hand was legal under the rules.   We aren't so sure.  We are sure about two things.

First, if that block is legal then the rules need to be changed.  We believe that such a hit would be flagged in the NFL and maybe even referred to the league office to determine whether a fine was in order.  If your angle is such that you are going to hit the side or back of a player's knee you need to either change the angle or block higher on his body.  The risk of destroying a player's knee, perhaps his football career, and perhaps do permanent damage for even day-to-day activity is too high.

Second, we tend to cut players a lot of slack.  FBS-level college football is a violent game played by talented athletes who are extensively trained and have to make split-second decisions at full speed.  Far more often than not, we give a player the benefit of the doubt on a particular play.  But Mississippi's defensive back had already gotten the benefit of the doubt when he missed slamming into our receiver's head in the end zone by about an inch -- mostly because the receiver's head was somewhat lower than would have been expected.  The zebras were so intent on the head-to-head contact that they didn't notice the same player shoving his hand  through our players face mask in an attempt to, we don't know, pull the old "I've got your nose" gag that my Uncle Max used to be a fan of, maybe?  Then there was the hit on Hand.  About three plays later the same Mississippi player made the same sort of knee-level hit from the side on Hand's replacement, Isaiah Buggs, and he limped off the field.  We are all out of doubtful benefits at this point.

Speaking of penalties, a disturbing trend from last year seems to be re-emerging.  Before Saturday's game, Alabama led all other teams in the category Opponent Penalty Yards per Game.  Said in English, on average Alabama's opponents were penalized fewer yards than the opponents of any other team.  So the whole "the officials cheat for Alabama" concept isn't supported by what we call "math".  In fact, just like last season, the opposite seems to be the case.  Last week, Alabama ranked number 130 out of 130 teams on that measure.  Things improved after Saturday night.  We've moved up to 127th.  We find it amazing that teams that play against Alabama suddenly find it in themselves to play cleanly and within the rules for that one week of the season.  We'd think against such a formidable appointment, cutting some corners would be a good idea.  Maybe we just don't understand.

If you are going down to see the game in College Station be advised that there was some issue with the plumbing in their fancy new stadium on Saturday and that if you need to, um, answer the call of nature, you had to leave the stadium to do so.  A&M is really rich -- maybe they'll pay the water bill before Saturday night.

Roll Tide, everyone.  Beat Texas A&M.

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Ole Miss Grades

Vol Calls

Mark: “Travis is on a cell phone. Make sure the delay is working…. What’s up, brother?”

Travis: “It’s all good, guys.”

Kevin: “Really?   I recognize the phone number, man, what have you done with Travis?”

Travis: “No, dude, it’s me, for real. I’m just …. Well, I’m working on being a better me.”

Mark: “Wow. That’s great. And let me say, I really respect you. You feel me?”

Kevin: “So, do you want to talk about the Vols?”

Travis: “Yeah, actually……so….OK….we lost to Georgia…..and we lost to Florida……but don’t we still have a path to get to Atlanta for the championship game?”

Unidentified Female: “Travis…..Travis, hand me the phone……No…..don’t do that….you know our agreement……you need to hand me the phone now….”

Kevin: “Uh, Travis?,,,,,”

Mark: “Hello?…..

Travis: “LSU lost to Troy…..we’re better than Troy….”

Unidentified Female: “Dr. Gold is waiting Travis…..you need to give me the phone…..

Mark: “It looks like we lost Travis……call back……if you can…..”

Tiger Talk:

Luv: “……huit cent cinquante mille, dollars.  Pour Troy. Incredible”

Claude: “Oui. Absurdite. And for our listeners in English-speaking parts of Louisiana, Luc was pointing out that LSU paid Troy $850,000 to come to Baton Rouge for the homecoming football game.......So, Luc, quel est l’avenir de Coach Orgeron?”

Luc: “Un homme mort qui marche.”

Claude: “Dead man walking?.....Ah oui….you predict he will be sans employ?”

Luc: “Dans mon coeur, c’est aujourd’hui”

Claude: “Today? Well, that is une predication audacieuse. But la buyout…..comment allons’nous payer le buyout?”

Luc: “Quelle buyout?”

Claude: “La buyout de douze mille. …. Twelve million….in dollars Americain.”

Luc: “Merde! Je ne savais pas la buyout de douzemille de dollars Americain…… Le monde entire n’a pas ca.   Eetes-vous sur?”

Claude: “Oui, Luc….I am certain….the buyout for Coach Orgeron is twelve million dollars Americain. …. So, do you still believe he will be sans employ?”

Luc: “Non…..c’est impossible”

Claude: “So what is the future for LSU? Qu’est-ce qui arrivera a LSU?”

Luc:  “Nous aurons bientot du success.”

Claude: “Success in the future?  How?”

Luc: “Nous vaincreons Tennessee!”

            Some things need no translation. The disarray in certain SEC football programs is one such thing. Alabama’s dominance in college football is another.

            But just in case someone reading this blog is not convinced the Crimson Tide is the standard against which all others are measured, consider this: under Coach Saban, Alabama has played 55 games ranked as the nation’s number one team. Its record in those games is 49-6 (89.1%). No other coach has ever achieved such a record of success; not Woody Hayes, Ara Parseghian, Tom Osborne, and not Coach Bryant.

            Bama’s 66-3 victory set a scoring record in the Ole Miss series, which dates back to 1894. The previous high (64 points) was set on October 26, 1917 and reached again on October 4, 1930.  It was obvious from the game’s first series that Alabama was the superior team, and the size and scope of the Tide’s ultimate victory started coming into focus by the end of the first quarter, with Alabama leading 21-3.

There are lots of things to talk about in plain Englsih, so here is how I grade the game:

Offense:            A+            For the second consecutive week, Alabama gained more than 600 yards of total offense (613) (365 rushing) earning 26 first downs. The Tide converted 10 of 18 possession downs (3 of 3 on 4^th down) and possessed the football for 36:37.

Jalen attempted 19 passes, completing 12 for 197 and 2 TDs. Jalen has now attempted 169 consecutive passes without suffering an interception; however, an Ole Miss DB came very close to breaking Jalen’s pick-free streak early in the game. Tua completed 3 of 5 pass attempts for 51 yards and a TD.

Calvin Ridley was, once again, the leading receiver with 60 yards on 4 receptions. Josh Jacobs, Jerry Jeudy and Robert Foster each caught two passes. Jacobs caught a pass for a TD as did Henry Ruggs, III, and tight end, Hale Hentges. Nine different receivers caught passes.

Jalen also led all runners with 101 yards and a TD on 10 runs. Damien Harris gained 67 yards on 7 runs. Josh Jacobs averaged 25.5 yards per carry on his two rushes which gained 51 yards. Najee Harris ran the ball 7 times for 43 yards and a TD. Tua also scored a rushing TD, and gained 37 yards on 4 running plays. Bo Scarbrough scored a TD and gained 18 yards on 6 runs, mostly in the first quarter.

The best rushing TD, however, was scored by Ronnie Clark [RS-Jr., TE. 6-2, 224; Calera]. Ronnie was rated the number 3 athlete nationally by Rivals as a senior in high school. He saw his 2014 freshman season cut short with a torn Achilles tendon and was granted a medical red-shirt. Since recovering from injury, he has played in four games over two seasons. He is a dedicated team-player, who has earned the respect and admiration of his teammates and coaches. His 4^th quarter TD against Ole Miss marks his first career TD at the Capstone. He gained 22 yards on 5 carries against the Rebs.

Alabama mounted eight drives gaining 40 or more yards [51, 85, 75, 55, 48, 69, 44, 91] resulting in 6 TDs, a FG and a missed FG. The Tide’s longest drive [91 yards] consumed 8:09 of the 4^th quarter, took 12 plays and culminated with Ronnie Clark’s rushing touchdown.

The Tide held the football for 13:09 of game time in the 4^th quarter.

Defense:              A+                 Ole Miss entered the game boasting of the league’s best passing attack. Against the Tide, Mississippi was able only to net 165 yards passing, completed only 14 of 29 pass attempts and suffered 2 interceptions. Ole Miss had 15 possession downs [13 third downs and 2 attempts on 4^th down]. Alabama’s defense denied a conversion each time. Ole Miss was held to a three-and-out 6 times, and the defense scored a pick-six [Levi Wallace (Sr. DB; 6-0, 183; Tucson, AZ)].

Minkah Fitzpatrick led all defenders with 8 tackles [2 TFL]. De’Ron Payne made 7 stops while Hootie Jones was credited with 6. Tide defenders made 10 tackles for lost yardage [5 sacks] forced 2 fumbles, intercepted two passes [Levi Wallace] broke up 2 passes and hurried the Ole Miss QB 9 times.

Special Teams:

Punting:           A+       JK Scott averaged 42.5 yards on two punts. One kick resulted in a touchback and the other was downed inside the Ole Miss 20. Henry Ruggs, III and Trevon Diggs combined to return 4 Reb punts for a total of 58 yards.

Place Kicking:      A        Pappa missed a FG from 40 yards. Scott made a 48-yard FG attempt. Pappa converted each of 9 PATs.

Kickoffs:          A          Scott was really tired at the end of last night’s game. He averaged 63 yards per kick on 11 kicks; 5 were touchbacks. Ole Miss returned 6 kicks for 84 yards, the longest of which gained 20 yards.

Coaching:                    A                      A quibble here and there with play selection, particularly on Bama’s first offensive series, and 7 penalties for 60 yards are enough to justify not giving the coaches the +.  The participation report lists 71 players who saw action in the game.

In the run up to the game, Ole Miss players….obviously having read last week’s edition of The Grades…..were careful not to say anything that could be used to stoke the competitive fires in the hearts of Tide players. So, Coach Saban challenged the team to find internal motivation….it is also reliably reported he said something along the lines of “Those Ole Miss players disrespect you so much, they don’t have anything to say about this game!”

            The SEC West is clearly a two-team division consisting of Alabama and Auburn. The Tigers have a very good defense and seem to have found an offense….on Ebay maybe? I don’t know…..but anyway, they are scoring points and the Villagers have gotten back on board the Gus Bus. The Iron Bowl looks like it might have outsized importance this year…..but all that is in the future, far away.

            The most important game of the year is going to be played October 7 at 6:15 in College Station. The Aggies are celebrating yesterday’s 24-17 conquest of the Fighting Chickens, and are feeling much better about themselves now. Yell practice this Friday will no doubt be quite spirited.

            Oh, by the way….……remember, we need to translate one more thing. This coming Saturday, the first verse of the Rammer Jammer is: “Hey, Aggies!”

Roll Tide Y’all

The Commissioner

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