Sunday, September 14, 2014

USM Grades: Report from the Tire Store

Commissioner, that was an excellent edition of The Grades.  I am sure I speak for all of us when I say we are glad you were able to do your part to bring about another Alabama victory.  I myself poured out my Mello Yello and switched to the traditional Coca Cola….  Did it help?  Didn’t hurt.

Although they all are in one way or another, it was a beautiful day to be on campus for a ball game.  Drizzling rain on Friday evening and cloudy skies on Saturday morning vanished so that by game time the long-suffering student section was once again broiling away in brilliant late afternoon sunshine.

You are never to take an opponent for granted.  Coach Stallings’ pithy phrase about if you don’t think it’s a big game, try losing it (or words to that effect) is as freighted with meaning as a 100-car CSX express.  But consistent with the Commissioner’s experience, things were just slightly off kilter yesterday.  The Quad (and frankly, now at least the two blocks or so surrounding the Quad) were full of tailgaters, the vendors of officially licensed merchandise packed the sidewalks, and the Million Dollar band was on the library steps doing its best to make the hair on your arms stand up.  Still, there just wasn’t quite that something -- anticipation, excitement -- whatever.  It was dangerously close to the feel of a final NFL preseason game.  Let’s be frank, the USM teams of the 80s and 90s would have beaten this season’s edition by three touchdowns.  Their quarterback, an Alabama product, is a respectable talent.  Alabama should have beaten this team pretty handily.  Alabama did.  As The Commissioner correctly points out, three weeks in there are a bunch of teams whose home record contains a blemish that by all rights shouldn’t be there (Ohio State and Virginia Tech both come to mind, in a circular sort of pattern).

The Tire Store Comptroller was feeling ill, so she did not attend the game.  Just after the National Anthem I got a text message asking me to explain precisely what is “ESPN 3”.  Let’s just say that I despaired of explaining in time.  And we do get the off brand NFL package, which was showing Mississippi.  The in-game thread also made its way onto my phone, which was beeping and buzzing and I don’t know what all.  Everyone knows that the Tire Store is still not all that electronically socially connected -- no instagram, no pintrests, no face book, no twitting.  At one point my companion asked, “what’s going on, did you get elected homecoming queen or something?” 

The point was well-taken.  The problem was that the relative level of excitement on the field was such that electronic distractions did get in the way.  We understand that during the crucial plays of the USCe/UGA game there were more than 100 people crowded around the television in the Zone watching that game instead of Alabama taking it to the Golden Eagles.  In his post-game radio show, Coach Saban asked Eli for extra time to urge the fans to come out next Saturday and give their best in support of the team, right from the start.  One is tempted to say, “Well, you guys, too, Coach.”  I’d be less likely to head for the concession stand with two minutes to go before half time if we were going to run the two minute drill and try to score rather than handing off to the running back three times.

We expect that having the Florida Gators in town will tend to ratchet things up a few notches on either side of the wrought iron fencing around the field.  Shoot, it’s even money that one of these days lucky fans are going to get to see the top of Coach Will Muschamp’s head blow skyward like Krakatoa.
Offense:  We agree with the grade for the offense.  It would be interesting to see what would happen if we just stayed with our starting 11 (plus one or two) for a full game.  Did you notice that T.J. Yeldon didn’t make an appearance after the first half?  The rushing stats don’t really miss a beat.  We don’t know a fourth string running back in America that is as exciting as Tyren Jones.  It is almost as if the coaches are checking boxes on a to do list.  By yesterday, a pass to a tight end must have looked like a trick play to anyone who has seen our prior game films.  Also, did you see the formation where we split out wide the unlikely trio of Vogler (6-7, 263), Drake (6-1, 202) and Fowler (6-1, 248).  What scheme to run for that on defense?  Also, we haven’t seen the film of the game, but don’t remember a single one of the bubble screens that we seemed to run every other play last week.  And speaking of film, we presume that it is a good thing that the game isn’t on film anymore, because Coach Saban’s language probably would have melted it reviewing the Cooper double-reverse-end-around-dipsy-doodle-fake-statue-of-liberty play.  And speaking of that play, you probably noticed a crushing block on the corner as Cooper reversed field, did you notice the other very effective block?  It was from Blake Sims.  Put his throwing shoulder right into a guy.  Blake, people are divided on whether you are the man to carry us to the Final Four Battle for the Beer Lever, but we all really do respect you for all you have done when asked for our team and we love your pluck and grit.  So don’t do that anymore, ok?

Defense:  We are starting to wonder if the old, dead and unlamented bend-don’t-break strategy is a part of the answer to the various styles of hurry up offense.  It seems a bit counterintuitive, but perhaps effective.  Once teams reach our 20-yard line and have less room to work, things suddenly seem to be very complicated for them.  We only had one sack, but got credit for 10 hurries and one ball batted back at the quarterback like a volley ball kill shot.  I liked the days when we didn’t let teams on our side of the 50.  I won’t give up hope for seeing that again, but I may give up hope for this year.

Special Teams:  We are just so much happier than we thought we’d be with Special Teams.  The kicking is solid.  From the end zone, it seemed to us that the players were staying in their lanes better.  We’d not give out an F for a player engaged in a block that got hit by a sideways bouncing punt (though he should have been trotting to the sidelines at that point).  If we had to do that to learn the lesson, this was a good game to do it.

Officiating:  Sadly, last night is what we have become accustomed to.  It seemed like about every third play two or three officials had to get together and talk about something.  At one point a flag flew for “illegal participation” and players and coaches on both sides had their palms up like “what now?”  They still don’t have the so-called “targeting rule” figured out.  Once the players got the message that holding by an offensive lineman was highly unlikely to be penalized it was very nearly no-holds barred (and that’s by both sides).  We saw one offensive lineman grab his man by the jersey and pull him to the ground like it was the state high school wrestling finals.  No call. 

On a personal note, we spent some time on the Quad meeting in person for the first time the Correspondent from the Land of Wine and Cheese, whom we have “known” for years, but only through the channel of this, well, whatever this is.  I do not think he’ll mind my telling you that this week, bookended by two Alabama games, was his first trip back to Tuscaloosa in 37 years.  Although some of us may take for granted Tuscaloosa on a game day, he was a refreshing reminder that there are things in this life you shouldn’t take for granted.  One of them is a chance to be on the Quadrangle listening to Denny Chimes play the alma mater on the afternoon of an Alabama game -- and in some very fundamental respects, it doesn’t really matter the opponent or maybe even the outcome.  Merci, mon ami.

Roll Tide, everyone.   Beat Florida.

The Correspondent from the Tire Store

 MMENT ON THIS POST, PLEASE CLICK ON THE ABOVE LINK.

No comments:

Post a Comment