Tire Store Report SEC Championship Edition

Remember back when things were terrible?  A favorite son who coached and behaved poorly?   A replacement coach who did ok and then slunk away in the night?  A coach who behaved poorly and never coached a game unless you count A-Day?  Another favored son who seemed to try his best but just wasn’t cut out for head coach and left with hurt feelings on both sides?  A new coach who started a season that filled everyone with hope and then we lost to Louisiana College of Drainage & Tractor Repair at home?  And fast forward just a little bit to when things got better.  We gave a good account of ourselves in the SEC Championship but lost to Florida?  And then, the very next season, Florida was undefeated, ranked #1, the defending national champion and we ran them out of the Georgia Dome on our way to the National Title?

Remember those times?  Remember the elated feeling you had after that Florida game in 2009 when Alabama was the SEC Champion again, for the first time in 10 years?  Maybe you don’t.  We do.  It was a wonderful feeling. 

Times have been so much better lately.  Alabama has won three straight SEC Championships and four out of the last five.  Alabama is the only undefeated major conference team in the country. Around the SEC, Florida now has two conference losses and everyone else has at least three.  The Crimson Tide is back in the College Football Playoff, in which it has never not appeared.  As the Commissioner notes, that’s 26 SEC titles (30, if you count the old Southern Conference, which we absolutely do -- can’t imagine why you wouldn’t).  If you are counting (and we absolutely are -- can’t imagine why you wouldn’t) that doubles second-place Tennessee’s 13 SEC titles.

And you know what?  We had that same wonderful feeling on Saturday evening -- just as we did in 2009.  It never gets old.  It was just as good this time around.

The Grades were tip top and we agree with them.  We also agree with curving them all to A+.  I do hope we get to see one game this year where all three phases of the game excel against a quality opponent for four quarters.  Saturday afternoon’s effort was a little slip shod, and we still hung half a hundred on them

We hear and read that Alabama fans are “entitled” -- we guess meaning spoiled and just expecting to win a lot of football games.  OK.  Maybe so.  That doesn’t, however, translate into taking any of this for granted.

I have deal with an old friend, a loyal Tennessee fan who takes a very clear-eyed approach to college football.  Every year after the Alabama Tennessee game we have lunch.  Winner pays.  It’s a good tradition.  This year, over open-faced roast beef sandwiches with brown gravy (which is the way we have it -- can’t imagine why you wouldn’t) he asked me, “Don’t you guys ever get tired of winning?”  I didn’t even really consider the question.  I just stuck my fork in my mashed potatoes and said, “Nope.”  He laughed at me and then said, “Yeah, we wouldn’t either.”

 For us, the big sequence of the game was not Fitzpatrick’s interception return for a touchdown (regardless of how exciting it was).  We thought it was in the second half, with Florida’s first and goal and a chance to pull within 10 not even half way through the third quarter.  With a first down at about the two, they chose to run up the middle.  Or tried to.  The play, as they say, failed to gain.  On second down, they tried to run around right end, gaining about a yard, but nearly fumbling.  (We’ll pause right here for an interesting point -- did you see Averett and Foster both trying for the scope and score on that play?  From 100 yards away? This defense doesn’t just try to score, they expect to do so.)

On third down, we think they tried the old “jump over the pile” play.  We say think because before the running back could leave his feet, he got punched in the midsection by the defense and ended up hopping up about as far, well, about as far as we can.  On fourth down, perhaps remembering Marty Lyons’s advice to Chuck Fusina in ‘79, Florida decided to pass.  Again, we think it was supposed to be a quick hitter to the left, but gigantic Dalvin Tomlinson forced his way through the line and jumped into the passing lane of the called play.  When he landed he started chasing Florida’s quarterback, gaining on him at an alarming rate.  To his credit, Florida’s quarterback ran for his life towards the sideline, finally throwing a desperation pass into triple coverage.  The receiver got both hands on the ball but couldn’t get his foot down in bounds -- not to mention Fitzpatrick swatting the ball out of his hands back up the tunnel in the corner of the end zone.

Then the offense took the ball and drove it 98 yards for a touchdown. You could just tell after that play, Florida was done.  They went from discouraged to somewhat vengeful.

The zebras once again almost let a game get out of hand.  There had a been a number of questionable hits out of bounds, a really late “sling him down by the jersey play”, as ugly a facemask infraction as we can remember, finally boiling over in a play nasty enough to get three separate infractions flagged and leading to the ejection of a Florida player on Alabama’s next offensive possession.  And credit young Joshua Jacobs (Fr. 5-10 204) with pulling Cam Robinson (Sr. 6-6 310) out of a situation where penalties might have offset. Robinson was rightly upset and coming to the defense of a teammate. Though to give Robinson his own amount of credit due, we doubt that Jacobs (giving up eight inches and 100+ pounds) could make Robinson do anything he wasn’t pretty well inclined to do in the first place. 

Alabama then exacted its own brand of vengeance from the two-yard line, putting in a backfield of Jalen Hurts, Jonathan Allen, Da’Ron Payne, and Bo Scarbrough.  We don’t know what they call it this year -- we’d go with the Half Ton Package.  No, really, we looked it up, and the backs in that formation weigh over 1000 pounds.  We almost felt sorry for Florida’s inside linebacker.  Almost.

We bid a relieved adieu to the Verne Lundquist era, and especially his extended Farewell Tour.  We expect next year to be a little better; presumably fewer player misidentifications and a little more description of the action than “My my” and “Oh my goodness” and “Yes sir”.  Maybe not quite as much effort to find an uncalled penalty on any positive play for Alabama.   Mostly, though, our problems didn’t stem from Uncle Verne, but from the way the executives at CBS direct and produce the games.  Unfortunately, that will remain unchanged.  As will their quest for the magical five-hours-without-overtime broadcast.

We hope you all have a nice December, see your friends and families over the holidays, and get some SEC Championship memorabilia in your stocking.  We’ll do all that, but also spend time getting anxious about and excited for the game on New Year’s Eve with Washington, hoping we whip them and move on to the National Championship.  As I told my friend, we really, really like winning at football -- can’t imagine why you wouldn’t.

Roll Tide, everyone.

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SEC Grades

Here's a thought experiment to try in case you are stuck inside on a rainy day: What would they have to do if the 2016 Crimson Tide played a perfect game? You know what I mean? A game where all three phases consistently perform at the standard expected by The Process.

To get you started, some of the things I think would result are: (i) they would have to add another row of lights on the score board-double digits would not be enough to count Alabama's points; (ii) they would have to start paying teams from the SEC East an appearance bonus like schools from the FCS get; (iii) the "Who's In" playoff talk show on ESPN would have to have one of those flip-over thingies for the Tide starters, and another for the rest of the roster; (iv) the landscape architects at the Capstone would have to figure out where to put the new markers on the Walk Of Champions commemorating all the conference and playoff titles the Tide will win.... oh, scratch that one, the University is already working on that.

Such speculation may be one way to while away the time between now and the start of post-season preparation, but it is certainly the case that this season's edition of the Crimson Tide have yet to play a perfect game. The performance turned in for the 25th anniversary edition of the SEC Championship Game is a case in point. Take the first quarter.....please......the Tide defense gave up a TD on the Gators' opening drive, a 10 play, 65 yard march, that featured Florida converting on each of three third downs and consuming more than 5 minutes of the game clock.  The offense could only generate a loss of (-7) yards in the first quarter. It did manage to preserve enough of the great field position handed to it by Shaun Dion Hamilton's 40 yard interception return on Florida's second possession, to kick a field goal. Special teams allowed the Big Lizzards 2 points with a blocked PAT attempt. Offensive play calling made some observers speculate that Lane Kiffin had spent more time meeting with his agent than with his players. Or maybe he had studied so much Houston game film, he was calling plays for the Cougars instead of the Tide.   

Yes, the first quarter was just dreadful.....in everything except the score.....after 15 minutes, the Gators, who held the ball for more than 12 minutes, were on the short end of 16-9. Sophomore corner, Minkah Fitzpatrick, set a school record when he returned his 4th career pick-six. Freshman Derrick Gore blocked a Florida punt, and fellow freshman Josh Jacobs ran the ball into the end zone, becoming the first player ever to return a blocked punt for a touchdown in an SEC Championship Game [Georgia scored on a blocked field goal attempt in the 2012 SEC CG].

The second quarter was much better. The offense generated 179 yards, 9 first downs and 17 points. The defense frustrated Florida until the Reptiles mounted another long drive to score a TD with :19 to play in the half. The half-time score of 33-16 was certainly encouraging, but it was hard to shake the feeling that Alabama was just not playing like Alabama. 

Alabama got the ball to start the second half and reverted to its first quarter form. A screen pass on first down lost 10 yards. A run up the middle on second down erased that loss, so on third and 10 Coach Kiffin called........a pass that was incomplete. Florida took the ensuing punt and picked up right where it left off at the end of the first half, driving with the passing game to a first and goal at the Tide 2. A run up the middle on first down was stopped for no gain. A run  on 2d down got the ball a foot and a half from the end zone. On third down, Rashaan Evans met the Florida running back a yard into the Gator backfield and stoned him for a loss to the 2. On 4th down, Florida attempted a pass, but Appleby, under pressure, had nowhere to go and his throw went off the hands of his receiver who was out of bounds in any event.

At this point, the hinge of fate turned completely in Alabama's favor. The Tide ground out a 98 yard drive culminating in a 2 yard Bo Scarbrough TD. For a moment, the drive looked like it would fall victim to Coach Kiffin's impatience, when Jalen was sacked for a 9 yard loss on 1st and 10 from the Tide 34. A run on second down failed to gain, but on third down, Jalen connected with ArDarius Stewart for a 31 yard completion to the Florida 44. From that point, the drive stayed on the ground with gains of 8, 34 and the final 2.

For all but the most technical of reasons, the game was effectively over at this point. Florida had gone from first and goal at the 2 to failing to score and being gashed for another Bama touchdown.  The Tide would add 14 more points with the running game, as the defense preserved a second half shutout. 

Because this was Alabama's 26th SEC Championship [30th conference championship when you add the 4 titles earned during the days of the Southern Conference], every phase of the game will be officially recorded as A+. However, because there are two more games to play, and there is work to be done, here's how I grade the game:

Offense: A- In spite of the horrible first quarter, it is hard for the offense not to grade out well. After all, the O did score 41 points. The Tide gained 372 yards of offense [234 rushing], earned 18 first downs and converted 5 of 10 third downs. 

Bo Scarbrough was the leading rusher with 91 yards on 11 runs.  Damien Harris added 86 yards on 8 carries, Josh Jacobs ran 6 times for 36 yards and Derrick Gore gained 21 net yards on 4 rushers. Scarbrough scored 2 rushing TDs, Jacobs and Gore each scored a rushing touchdown as well. Gore also blocked the Gator punt, prompting one wag to say after the game that "it has taken 16 years, but Gore has finally carried Florida."

Jalen netted only 1 yard on 8 running plays. He gained 23 but lost 22 in sack yardage. Jalen's passing numbers were a modest 11 of 20 for 138 yards and a TD. He did not throw an interception. 

Calvin Ridley gained 43 yards on 4 catches. Stewart added 42 yards on 3 receptions and OJ Howard caught 2 balls for a total of 41 yards. Jacobs and Gehrig Dieter each gained 6 yards on solo receptions. Dieter's catch was good for Jalen's lone TD pass. 

The offense generated four sustained drives [88, 62, 98, 91] each of which culminated in a TD. 

Defense: A Florida was supposed to be banged up, and inexperienced on the offensive line. One week ago, FSU held the Lizzards 0-for-14 on third downs. Against the nation's best defense, the Reptiles rang up 261 yards passing.....that was also their total offense. As astonishing as it may sound, Florida gained 0 net yards rushing. That's zero. Nada. Zilch. Zip. Nil. Nuthin'. Nary a one. Florida mounted three drives [64, 92, 64] producing 2 TDs and a turnover on downs. The rest of the game, Florida's drive chart looks like this: 0, 2, 2, 9, (3), 6, 4, (3), (10), 20.

Reuben Foster was voted MVP of the game. He was credited with 11 tackles [9 solo; 2 TFL]. Ronnie Harrison made 7 stops [5 solo] and Dalvin Tomlinson was credited with 5 tackles. Anthony Averett, Minkah Fitzpatrick and Jonathan Allen each made 4 tackles. Tide defenders made 9 tackles for lost yardage, forced a fumble, made 3 interceptions, and hurried the Gator QB 9 times. 

Special Teams:

Punting: A+ JK Scott had a so-so night, by his usual standards, averaging 40.5 yards on 2 punts. Neither of his punts were returned. The Tide return game was excellent. Treyvon Diggs returned 3 punts for 90 yards [long - 47] and as previously mentioned, Josh Jacobs returned a blocked punt 27 yards for a TD.

Place Kicking: F Sorry, but a failing grade is automatic when special teams gives up a blocked kick, especially on a PAT. Griff also missed from 40 yards while he made two FGs from 31 and 25.

Kickoffs: A Griff and Scott shared kickoff duties, averaging 63.1 and 64.5 yards respectively. The coverage team did not surrender a big return. 

Coaching: B- The offense was not ready to play.  The first half proved that. The defense was stung by some wrinkles Tide coaches had not seen in film. Alabama was penalized only twice, while Florida was flagged 7 times, including three on one play. To the coaches' credit, the Tide players kept their cool when the Gators were getting extremely chippy in the 4th quarter. The participation report lists 61 players who saw action in the game.

Shaun Dion Hamilton is lost for the remainder of the season due to a knee injury sustained in the second quarter. Marlon Humphrey did not start but returned to action against the Gators. Cooper Bateman replaced Jalen late in the game and led the three-deep on a TD scoring drive.

The downgrade is for incomprehensible play calling. Readers of this blog are no doubt tired of my complaining about play calling, but from my perspective, Coach Kiffin gets enamored with the idea of a perimeter passing attack and is often impatient with a productive running game. This results in early down passing attempts that produce negative plays. 

The playoff suspense, if there ever was any, is over. Alabama will play Washington in Atlanta on New Year's Eve. Optimistic Tide fans may not even be giving up their hotel rooms between now and the end of the month. I suppose it's OK to celebrate Christmas in the lobby.

Between now and then, the players will finish up finals, have a few days away from football, then return for mini-camp and specific prep for the Huskies. ADs across the land will be looking to fill vacancies created by hirings and firings. Coach Kiffin is rumored to be on the short list for Houston and perhaps Oregon head coaching positions. Everyone at The Commissioners Blog wishes him well. 

Coach Saban told reporters that when he was an assistant on a team in the post season, and had a head coaching position waiting for him, he worked the assistant job until the post-season had run its course before leaving for the new gig. Whether he would expect Coach Kiffin to do the same was unclear. One thing is clear, however, at least as I see things, Lane Kiffin needs Nick Saban and Alabama more than Saban and the Capstone need Lane Kiffin. 

How fitting it was that the 25th anniversary of the SEC Championship Game would be marked with the 9th rematch between Florida and Alabama. And how fitting it is that the Tide now hold the series lead 5-4 over the Gators. I will have some additional post-season thoughts over the next few weeks, but for now, everyone relish the Tide being the Champions of the Southeastern Conference......again!

Roll Tide, Y'all.

The Commissioner

        

Tire Store Report -- East Alabama Male College

It’s always sweet to beat Auburn.  Sweet like pecan pie made with extra Karo Syrup.  Holding them without a touchdown?  That’s like putting ice cream on top. Scoring 30 on what they claimed (with some statistical support) is one of the top ten defenses in the country?  That’s like adding warm Hershey’s chocolate sauce.  Beating them for the third time in a row and 7 of the last 9?  That’s sweet enough to put the entire Million Dollar Band in a sugar coma.

Thanks for a great edition of The Grades, Commissioner.  Glad you got to see it in person and we know you did your part to bring home the victory.  Here is a stat for you.  Alabama has been ranked #1 for a total of 12 weeks this season.  Auburn has been ranked #1 for a total of 9 weeks, in the 120+ years they have been playing football.

This is a very good team.  As always, we are somewhat surprised at how quickly the regular season goes by.  On to the game before we get teary.

Defense:  We agree with the A+ for the defense.  The Stop Troops were put into untenable situations by the offense and by special teams play.  They did not lose their cool.  Supposed  Offensive Genius Gustav Mahlzan pulled everything he could think of -- multiple quarterbacks in the same series, multiple quarterbacks on the field at once, that goofy spin around at the last second from the huddle and run a play, blah, blah, blah.  Alabama’s defense made it look like a thoroughbred swatting away flies with its tail.  No Touchdown November is an impressive feat.  Auburn featured the conference’s most prolific running back, Kamryn Pettway, at least from a statistical perspective.  He was riding a streak of four straight games carrying for over 150 yards.    Saturday, he picked up 17.  Not to mention that at one point in the game with a safety suspended and a corner back having a leg injury, Alabama was playing a former walk on in the defensive backfield.  It didn’t really seem to matter much.

Offense:  The second quarter was about as ugly as last week’s game.  It’s not really fair to dwell on that, though.  Supposedly Auburn’s defensive line was the best Alabama would see all season.  The Alabama offensive line made all that hype seem a little silly.  Alabama ran up over 500 yards of offense on this team.  They gave up 0 sacks.  The last nine minutes of the game consisted of Alabama’s offense pounding out the last of the Tigers’ hopes.  It didn’t lead to a score, though it probably could have if they had wanted it to go that way.  The scheme was more like an anaconda slowly, inexorably, squeezing the life out of its prey.  It reminded us a lot of, well, of the 2015 Alabama offense.  Coaching staffs for remaining Alabama opponents will take note.  If you give Alabama the football midway through the fourth quarter, you’d better be prepared for the possibility you might not see it again -- no matter how good you think your defense is.  That can be a powerful weapon.

Hurts threw a couple of ugly interceptions.  He also made plays.  He is noticeably going through his progressions more quickly and completely.  What we like best is the fact he just seems unaffected by it all.  We saw a great photo yesterday.  It showed Hurts crossing the goal line for his touchdown (snapping Auburn’s streak of not allowing rushing touchdowns).  An Auburn defender is running down the goal line attempting to make a tackle.  You can clearly see his expression -- eyes closed, face braced for an impact, anticipating the hit.  You can also see Jalen’s expression.  And it looked like, well, like he always looks.  Scoring a touchdown in the biggest game of his life, sitting on the sideline waiting for the defense to get a stop, hanging out on the Quad watching the squirrels between English and History class -- he looks just the same.  His mind may be going a million miles a minute, but you can’t tell it from looking at him.

Special Teams:  Scott had a rare mis-hit on a punt, reminding us somewhat just how good he has been all year.  To his credit, unlike a lot of punters he didn’t just wave as the returner sped by, he actually helped stop him.   Adam Griffith, whose ups and downs have been well documented, was perfect on the day.  He holds or is within striking distance of several Alabama records.

Coaching:  The most interesting thing we heard post-game was (as usual) from Coach Saban himself.  Apparently he did not read the team the riot act in the half time locker room.  He just told them to quit making mistakes and execute their assignments.  Perhaps sometimes coaching is less about tenancies and brilliant observations of the other teams’ weaknesses than it is just stating the obvious to a bunch of 18-to-22-year-olds who need to hear it.  Coach gets credit for being smart enough to do it.  We again acknowledge the fine job that Coach Cochran and his helpers do with the team.  Alabama’s offense was on the field for 40 minutes of the game Saturday.   At the end of the last drive, it looked like they could go another quarter.

Broadcast:  F.  These guys are just a plain failure.  We like Namath as much as the next fan, we really do.  We did not need to see or hear him mug around in a mink coat with Verne and Gary instead of hearing the game action called.  The Macy’s Day parade got better coverage of the live action than what CBS dispensed.  Gary has started actively lobbying for calls to go one way or another.  Not that he’s necessarily for or against Alabama, mind you, that’s just not the role of sports commentator.  We’ve said it before, Verne and Gary are the faces of CBS sports, but this stuff is coming down from higher up the CBS food chain.  Or at least their bosses aren’t telling them to cut it out.  At least we only have to endure these clowns for one more game this year, unlike…

…The Officials:  F.  This game was badly called.  This crew missed fumbles, called fumbles that weren’t, let go a lot of late hits and extracurricular out of bounds activities.  What is under our skin is the fact that, all of the other schools’ conspiracy theories notwithstanding, Alabama finished 128^th in the country in the statistical category “opponents penalties against”.  Out of a total of 128 teams.  That’s right, Alabama’s opponents have been penalized less than those of any other team in America.  If the Red Elephant Club is paying off the SEC officials as fans of other schools occasionally allege, they need to sweeten the pot -- a lot.  That, or every other team just manages to play far more within the rules when they take on a cupcake team like Alabama.

On to the SEC Championship against Florida.  Roll Tide boys.  Bring home number #30.

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Auburn Grades

WVUR:

Shasta: ..... but we have not had a single call here at I Feel Your Pain since 10:00 pm last night. We have taken more than a hundred calls, excluding repeat callers, from members of our Vanderbilt community since the morning of November 9, and now for there to be total silence can only mean equipment failure.

Patrice: .... Let's check with our engineer.....Chad?.....Chad?....

Chad: ....  Yes, Patrice.

Patrice: What's the problem with our phone lines, Chad? Why are the phones not working?

Chad: ..... Uh.....nothing, Patrice....the phones are fine.

Shasta: But Chad, that can't be. Our community is in pain. This broadcast is an essential component of Vanderbilt's commitment to provide a safe place for members suffering from the traumatic events of the national election. Being off the air marginalizes those very people, and implicitly messages the blatant omni-phobia of Donald.....

Patrice: Sorry to interrupt, Shasta, forgive me, but it looks like we have a call...Travis, welcome to I Feel Your Pain, are you a first-time caller?

Travis: Uh.....yeah....I guess I am....

Shasta: How can we help you, Travis?

Travis: Well.....it's just.....I mean.....all the experts said this was the year. We were finally going to break through. Make a statement. You know what I mean?

Patrice: Oh yes, Travis, we know, and we feel it too.

Travis: All last summer, all the polls had us right where we wanted to be.

Shasta: So true, so true.

Travis: Mark May predicted we would win it all.

Patrice: Mark May? 

Shasta:  Daily Kos.....at least I think so.

Travis: Whatever. He wasn't the only one. Yeah we made mistakes, lots of close wins early on...

Patrice: Yes, Iowa was a win.

Travis: Iowa? What?

Shasta: It doesn't matter, Travis, what matters now is how we own our pain and use it to organize for action.

Patrice: We can all mourn this opportunity denied, but the arc of history bends towards social justice and cannot be denied.

Travis:  History? Sure, Kiffin, Dooley and Jones amount to a gigantic, historic dumpster fire, but 1998 wasn't that long ago....

Patrice: 1998?

Travis: Yeah, 1998. What else?

Chad: Ladies, I think Travis is a UT football fan. He's upset about ending the season getting beat by Vanderbilt last night. He probably can't get through on any of the sports talk shows.

Patrice: You mean we have been co-opted?

Shasta: And don't call us "ladies" you gender-aggressor, expect to hear from the Office of Inclusion as soon as I can file a written complaint with Patrice. More is expected from Vanderbilt students, Chad.

Chad: Belmont.

Shasta: What's that?

Chad: I go to Belmont, Shasta. This radio gig is just how I bank. 

Patrice: Consider yourself expelled, Chad.

Shasta: Can we get some muscle over here?

Chad: Don't bother. I'm done....anyway, the phone hasn't rung since last night, because all the undergrads have figured out how much fun it is to beat a rival.... you know.... someone you can't stand....somebody you live to hate....us versus them.....culture versus agriculture....our way of life is better than theirs. Get it?

Patrice: No.....no, I don't think I do....

Travis: Me neither.......

Rivalry games! It's what gets you through three days of Thanksgiving leftovers. It's that cathartic weekend of college football when, like medieval alchemy, a base and worthless season can be transformed into a golden year of bragging rights with a win, or conversely, when the sweetness of a championship run turns into bile by losing to that bunch of cheaters your socially awkward cousin pulls for.

Rivalry weekend 2016 was one of the best.....and could not have been better, for Alabama fans.

Well, maybe it could have been better if the Tide offense had not spent the second quarter trying to give the game away. In the second period, Bama's offense ran only 12 plays, surrendered two interceptions and punted once on a possession that netted 4 lost yards. The rest of the game was an impressive offensive performance. 

The defense? Oh. My. Word.

Nobody wants to play Alabama. All those "We Want Bama" signs you see on TV? You notice it's only people in the crowd holding them. Coaches and players around the country watch the Tide defense on game film searching in vain for a weakness to exploit. 

Consider the fruits of Gus Malzahn's firm study: Auburn's offensive stat line for the first quarter of the 2016 Iron Bowl; Total Offense: 1 yard. Net Yards Rushing: 5. Net Yards Passing: (-4); First Downs: 0; Third Down Conversions: 0 for 3; TOP: 2:21. As one wag observed, it's a good thing Malzahn is an offensive genius or else the Tires might have had a really hard time moving the ball. 

The final score: Alabama 30 - Auburn 12, with all Tiger points coming on FGs, mostly due to favorable field position from two Tide interceptions and giving up a long punt return.

That's 30-12 and the Tide defense preserved No-Touchdown November.

30-12. I just wanted to write that one more time, so here is how I grade the game:

Offense: B- Alabama gained 501 yards total offense [203 rushing] earned 26 first downs, converted 8 of 16 third down opportunities and 2 of 2 fourth downs, and controlled the ball for 40:29 of the game. 

Jalen completed 27 of 36 pass attempts for 286 yards, 2 TDs and 2 interceptions. His longest pass went for 39 yards. Ardarius Stewart completed a 12 yard pass for a first down.

Stewart was the leading receiver, catching 10 balls for 127 yards and a TD. The Tide offense is simply better with Stewart in the rotation than on the bench, so here's hoping he learned the lesson Coach Saban was trying to teach him with a one-game suspension. O.J. Howard earned 45 yards on 5 receptions, and Calvin Ridley added 44 yards on 5 catches. Damien Harris proved a reliable check-down passing option, catching 3 balls for 22 yards and a TD. Treyvon Diggs made 2 catches for 10 yards. Josh Jacobs, Gehrig Dieter and Cam Sims each made a catch. 

Bo Scarbrough led all rushers with 90 yards on 17 runs. Damien Harris added 47 yards on 9 rush attempts. Jalen ran the ball 12 times for a net of 37 yards and scored a rushing TD against a salty Auburn defense that surrendered few touchdowns on th ground. 

The offense had 11 possessions, 8 of those were drives that gained 40 or more yards [64, 55, 43, 59, 57, 64, 64, 58] producing 3 FGs, 3 TDs, an interception and the end of the game. That last possession is noteworthy. The Tide ran 15 plays, all on the ground, gained 58 yards, earned 4 first downs, and consumed the last 9:00 of the game. There was nothing Auburn could do about it. The video system in the Auburn team buses was showing other games in progress around the country, each one being a contest the Tigers would have preferred to be playing.

It was domination; an industrial strength skull-drag of a team that boasted one of the nation's best defenses. 

Defense: A+ Critics may claim the + is too generous, after all, the defense did give up a 55 yard pass from Josh Franklin to Eli Stove, and Coach Saban expressed a degree of frustration because everything Auburn did offensively was something Alabama had seen on film. Nevertheless, the stop-troops held the nation's fifth best rushing offense to a paltry total of 66 net yards, 7 first downs, and allowed only 2 conversions of 12 third downs. Auburn was held without a first down on each of its first 5 offensive possessions, did not have a drive that gained 40 or more yards until the third quarter and had only one possession in the game's final stanza; a 48 yard drive that ended in an interception on a desperate fourth down play.

Shaun Dion Hamilton was the leading tackler with 8 stops [2 solo]. Reuben Foster was also credited with 8 tackles [2 solo]. Ryan Anderson and Jonathan Allen each made 6 tackles. Minkah Fitzpatrick and Dalvin Tomlinson each made 4 stops.  All total, the defense made 7 tackles for lost yardage [1 sack], made 1 interception [Hamilton], broke up 5 passes and hurried the Tiger QB 7 times. 

Special Teams:

Punting: C JK Scott only punted twice, but averaged only 39.5 yards. The coverage team surrendered a 58 yard return, and the return team only made 8 yards. Granted, Trayvon Diggs had a big return nullified by the video ref in Birmingham, who between cheese nachos washed down with Oh-Be-Joyful, saw Tony Brown commit a targeting foul the entire on-field officiating crew missed. I am confident Gary Danielson had way too much to say about it. Fortunately, I was at BDS so I will leave it to Andy to address this further.

Place Kicking: A+ Griff was good from 29, 25 and 34, and perfect on 3 PATs.

Kickoffs: A Griff averaged 64 yards on 7 kicks, 5 of which were touchbacks. The coverage team allowed only 34 yards on two returns. The return team only attempted two returns [25 and 21].

Coaching: A The participation report lists 53 who saw action in the game. The Tide was penalized 4 times for 28 yards.

In the post-game presser, a reporter asked Coach Saban if he made any offensive adjustments at half time. "Did the second half look different to you?" Saban replied. Um.......that would be a "yes."

Asked how he coached Jalen through the miscues of the first half, Saban said he told him to not try so hard to make a big play on each down. Take what the defense gives you. Trust the play call. That certainly turned out to be great advice for the second half.

It was a spectacular day in Tuscaloosa. The weather was perfect for a fall football game. 

Here are a few superlatives for this rivalry weekend in Tuscaloosa:

Best T-Shirt:

  

Best elevator comment by a complete stranger:

"Yeah, that first quarter seemed like it would never end, but I bet that's how Auburn felt about the fourth quarter."

Best unintentional revelation:

Auburn student describing how he disclosed to his parents that he was not graduating as anticipated: "So I called my mom, and told her 'hey, this is great, I get another football season' and she said, 'I am not co-singing another [bleep] lease for you in Auburn, Alabama.'  "

Best use of orange and pineapple juice mixture:

The Yellow Hammer, at Gallette's on the Strip.

Best way to end a regular season:

Beating Auburn to go undefeated.

Most important game so far:

This coming Saturday in Atlanta against Florida for the SEC Championship.

Roll Tide, Y'all........

The Commissioner

 

Tire Store Report UTC

We have a buddy named Ron.  He went to Samford, partly because his dad hoped that a church-affiliated school would prove to be a moderating influence on him.  We’d say the jury is out on that, even after a good number of years.

Anyway, Ron is plenty bright but not the most compliant student in the world.  This was back in the old days, before common sense began to be in such short supply.  In other words, college grades got sent to whomever was signing the tuition checks.  In this case, Ron’s dad.  So a couple of weeks after mid-terms, Ron was sitting around in his dorm room when the phone rang.  Now, this was also in the time when if you wanted to know who was on the phone, you had to answer it.  When Ron answered, it was his dad.  Dispensing with the usual pleasantries (long distance calls used to cost a lot, y’all) he said, “What the @#$% is V?”

Ron, genuinely perplexed, said, “What Dad?”

“I said, ‘what the @#$% is V?’  You got a V in one of your classes.  Is it because you did worse than F?  The Baptists don’t’ let you hang around down there for free, you know.”  In order to calm his father down, Ron agreed to go talk to the professor.  However, he genuinely was surprised.  We have forgotten what class it was, but Ron considered it fairly easy -- he studied the materials, did his homework, passed the quizzes, and thought he had done well on the mid-term exam.  When he showed up to the appointment the professor had an explanation.

“Yes sir, you are doing fine on the materials.  But the “V” stands for visitor.  You show up so rarely, I thought it was appropriate.  And I thought your parents should know whether you were getting what they are paying for.”

Stick with us, we are not just being long-winded and hard to follow here (well, at least not intentionally).  Saturday night’s game reminded us of Ron.

By objective measures, Alabama did fine in the game.  Alabama won. It scored 31 points, which is a winning score most always except in the Defense Optional Big 12-ish League.  The Defense only gave up 3, which is a winning score most always, everywhere.  Special teams did not give up a kick return much over 20 yards, our punter is outstanding (and the Ray Guy Award committee, which did not rank him in the Top 10 in the country, is pathetic), we handled the goofus rugby style punt game just fine, and we were perfect on the day in place kicking.  We converted turn overs to points.  We had to move offensive linemen around like chess pieces due to injuries. We completed a beautiful long pass play.  We had a passing game even with our most consistent wide receiver out of the game....

Still, it looked bad.  It felt bad.  It felt like Ron getting a V in his class.  We did ok by all the objective measures, but it just didn’t feel like we were trying, like our heart was in it.  To use a trite phrase, we didn’t “show up.”  But that is ok.  We won the football game.  Not much use rehashing the statistics after the Commissioner's excellent work.  Could it have been prettier? Yes, it could.  Would the outcome have been different if the opponent was actually playing to win rather than being content not to be embarrassed on the field?  We think so.

And, to be sure, it is easy to forget this is a bunch of 18 to 22 year olds.  Despite the Process, my overwrought expectations, and even the pressure they put on themselves, they are not going to be able to crank up to a fever pitch and set the woods on fire every single Saturday.  After this many difficult conference games in a row, a letdown was probably fairly inevitable.  If they were going to have one, this was not a bad time for it.  And not a bad result for an ugly effort.  As Coach Holtz used to say, Alabama has reached the point where it doesn’t have to be the best team in America every week, just the best team in the stadium (uh, we wouldn’t advise saying that to Coach Saban or Jonathan Allen).

So rather than rehash a bunch of statistics (though G. Deiter’s stat line of 3 catches for 1 yard and 2 TDs may be unique in college football history) we thought we’d move on to more seasonal thoughts.

We hope you get time away from work and responsibilities this week to spend some time with friends and family.  We always take a little extra time to reflect on our blessings this time of year.  Certainly on that list is what the University of Alabama has meant to us, including the joy and even the pain its sports teams provide for us.  We are also thankful for the Commissioner and his family, who are loyal friends of long standing who generously give us space to run off at the fingertips.  And we are thankful for each of you, for taking time to read, for occasionally checking in (whether to tell us you liked something we said or to say that we should stick to the difference between lug and torque wrenches and leave the football coaching to the professionals), and sharing with us your interest in Crimson Tide football.  So from all of us down here at the Tire Store -- me, the Comptroller (who made the dubious choice to marry me), the lug nut crew, JD, Big Willie, Mr. Poole, Moses, and Pee Wee -- we wish you all a very happy and joyous Thanksgiving.

Roll Tide everyone.  I hope we beat the giblets out of Auburn.

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UTC Grades

He looked like someone who could still taste the sour dregs of embarrassment, like the lingering effects of a bad cup of day-old coffee, when a reporter asked Coach Saban if he had seen any improvement in the team since last week. "Did you?" Saban replied.

Then, perhaps taking the long view, the Alabama head coach softened considerably. He pointed out the team's eleven wins, the defense holding opposing offenses out of the end zone in each of the last three games, the challenge to keep mental discipline through a long season, and his pride in the team's competitive spirit. Perhaps anticipating the inevitable chatter in the run-up to the Iron Bowl, Saban took personal responsibility for any lack of readiness to play the Mocs of UT Chattanooga. 

No one can reasonably claim Alabama took the field ready to play. Considering the disparity between the teams, the final score of 31-3 ought to have been reached by the half. Jalen Hurts ought to have been finished with his Saturday work after the first possession of the third quarter, not, as it was, with 1:50 to play in the game. Net rushing of 196 yards should have been achieved by one of Alabama's running backs, instead, not a single ball carrier achieved the century mark.

There are no two ways about it........this was a bad game. 

But it was a bad game Alabama won. For a thought experiment, Imagine how you would feel this morning if the Tide had lost. ...... Yeah. Me too. Sort of how Texas fans must be feeling today, their Longhorns having lost to a formerly 1-9 Kansas. Or, how Michigan fans are feeling more than a week out from losing to Iowa......they are still experiencing PTSD flashbacks from being upset by Appalachian State in 2007. That's right....the same year the Tide fell to ULM.

I hate these sorts of games. FCS teams have nothing but up-side to playing the Alabamas of the world. And the Alabamas have nothing but down-side. The very best you can hope for is to cover the betting line and get out of the game with no one injured. Reuben Foster left the game early but emerged from the locker room with a fresh bandage on his left hand, and returned to the game. Cam Robinson and Derek Kief were being evaluated after the game, but Coach Saban told reporters they were expected to be ready for the Auburn game. 

Hoping that the injury report will provide a bright spot, here's how I grade the game:

Offense: F The one letter grade reduction rule is in effect, even so, this was a sorry performance by the offense. Alabama gained 332 yards of total offense against the Mocs [196 rushing] earned only 14 first downs, converted only 4 of 13 third downs, and fumbled twice, losing one to a turnover. 

Jalen completed 15 of 21 pass attempts for 136 yards and 3 TDs. He was sacked 3 times. He also rushed for 68 net yards on 16 plays. Several of his runs came on pass plays where he was flushed from the pocket after protection broke down. Against Mississippi State, Jalen threw for more than 300 yards and ran for 100. Improvement? What do you think?

Damien Harris carried the ball 13 times for 91 net yards and a TD. Derrick Gore added 20 yards on 3 carries while Josh Jacobs gained 17 yards on 5 runs.

Calvin Ridley was the leading receiver with 94 yards on 7 receptions. He caught a 47 yard pass for Alabama's first score of the game early in the second quarter. It was perhaps Jalen's best deep pass of the season. Cam Sims caught 4 passes for 34 yards. In the oddest stat line I have ever read, Gehrig Dieter caught 3 passes for 1 yard and 2 TDs. O.J. Howard caught 1 pass for 7 yards. Ardarius Stewart watched the game from the sidelines, the consequence of an unspecified failure to adhere to expected standards.

Alabama had only three offensive possessions that gained 40 or more yards [75, 43, 46] producing two TDs and a FG. The offense was held to a three-and-out three times. Only once did Alabama put together consecutive scoring drives. 

Defense: C The Mocs managed a sustained drive of 50 yards in their first possession of the game. Otherwise, UTC was held to five possessions that were three-and-out, and their second longest drive of the game covered only 25 yards. It seemed as if the Mocs offense was having more success that it actually was, because they had a very good game plan; abandon the HUNH attack in favor of milking the clock between each play, shorten the game and limit Alabama's offensive opportunities. 

The defense held UTC to 184 total yards [70 rushing] and 10 first downs. The Mocs could only covert 2 of 13 third downs.

Ronnie Harrison was the leading tackler with 11 stops [8 solo]. Dalvin Tomlinson recorded 8 tackles, Tony Brown and Jonathan Allen each were credited with 6 tackles. Reuben Foster and Shaun Hamilton both recorded 5.  Tide defenders made 8 tackles for lost yardage. Rashan Evans and Keaton Anderson each recovered fumbles, and the Mocs QBs were hurried 4 times.

Special Teams:

Punting: A J.K. Scott punted 6 times for and average of 48.8 yards. His longest punt traveled 56 yards. He dropped 4 punts inside the UTC 20 yard line. Trevon Diggs returned 3 Mocs' punts for 20 yards. The punt coverage unit allowed 4 returns for 28 yards. 

Kickoffs: C+ Griff kicked off twice for an average of 60.5 yards. JK Scott kicked off 4 times averaging only 59.2 yards. Out of 6 kicks, the Tide only managed 1 touchback. The kick coverage unit allowed the Mocs one return of 24 yards and another of 21 yards.

Place Kicking:   A Ole Miss transfer, Andy Pappanastos [Sr.; 5-11, 198; Montgomery] made a 33 yard field goal and was perfect on 4 PAT attempts. 

Coaching:   F  Like coach Saban said, the team was not ready to play the game. Alabama was penalized only twice and the participation report lists 62 players who saw action, however, starters remained in the game way too long. Perhaps this was necessary in order to play through the focus issue, but the risk of injury and the need for fresh legs at the end of the season counsel against leaving the best players on the field too long against a team with nothing to lose.

Play selection continues to baffle me. I am not a coach. I do not pretend to know the sweet science of football's Xs and Os. The people calling the game are paid to make these decisions. But, it seems to me that far too often, the thing that stops Alabama's running game is the coaching decision not to run the ball. Against UTC, Alabama ran the ball 37 times and attempted 21 passes. I know balance is important, but so is imposing one's will on the other team. I'm just saying........

While Alabama stumbled around with UTC, Auburn were beating Alabama A&M 55-0. The Tigers scored 6 rushing TDs and, even without Pettway touching the ball, amassed 451 net yards rushing. This week, I hope the 24 Hour Rule is modified to a 24 Minute Rule. There is no time to lose getting ready for Auburn. 

I don't care how many one loss teams there are in the CFB Playoff bracket. I refuse to listen to the pundits speculating how thus-and-so team from some other conference should get the number four spot in the playoff with two losses. For Alabama, each week is an elimination game. And this week is the most important week so far. 

The Tide are Champions of the SEC West. After December 5, they may be the SEC Champion. In January they may claim a consecutive CFB Championship. The most important title for now, however, is to be college football champion of the State of Alabama. 

I will see you in Tuscaloosa.

Roll Tide, Y'all......

The Commissioner  

     

Tire Store Report -- MSU

That is a great job, Commissioner.  We were a little worried that Mississippi State had found something extraordinary in its new quarterback and with the physical and emotional toll of last week weighing on the team, the Crimson Tide might struggle a bit with the Bulldogs.  Silly us.

Those Grades are so good, that beat down was so epic, and next week’s opponents looking to be just a little outmanned, we thought we’d take a gander at the rest of what went on last weekend.

Seems like there is just one weekend every football season where there is a nationwide fog in the air.  You can’t really feel it coming on.  Sometimes it’s on Halloween and everyone blames that.  We think it is actually more common in November.  Whichever way, the upset miasma descends over college football and good teams with quality coaches and enthusiastic fan support suddenly go from thinking about conference and national championships to instead worrying about whether they were really as good as they thought.

We haven’t done much research about it; we sure haven’t done any, you know, math, but we just don’t recall a weekend where so many top teams (at least according to the polls) well, blew it -- at least outside of bowl season. 

By our count, five of the top 10 teams lost, including Texas A&M, which would have made the playoff if it had started two weeks ago, dropping its second game in a row to a team from Mississippi with a losing record.  Just in case you are counting:

#2 Clemson lost to Pitt (6-4), after being an 18-point favorite.

#3 Michigan lost to Iowa (6-4).  The Fightin’ Harbaughs were an 18.5-point favorite.

#4 Washington lost to USC (7-3), after being a 10-point favorite.

#8 Texas A&M lost to Mississippi (5-5).  The Aggies were a 20-point favorite.

#9 Auburn lost to Georgia (6-4).  Auburn was a 9-point favorite.

And while you are at it, #5 Louisville managed some late scores to make people not notice that they entered the fourth quarter losing to Wake Forest.  Wake has a good team this year, but they should not be beating the number five team (which is led by the current Heisman favorite) in the fourth quarter.  Ever.  In fact, the nation’s longest college winning streak came to an end when John Carroll (whoever he is) knocked off the Mount Union Purple Raiders who were riding a 112-game regular season winning streak in Division III.  Uh, no word on the betting line for that one.

(And ok, we did a little research.  It happens from time to time, like when we have to find out if there’s any way Pee Wee could get electrocuted putting tires on one of those fancy Tesla cars.)

So then how refreshing was it to see Alabama go out and take care of business in the dominating way the Commissioner described?  No upset in Tuscaloosa, except among the cowbell ringers who had a week long delusion that they were suddenly back to elite status.  The offense ran over through and around the Bulldog defense like a bunch of maroon highway cones.  The defense introduced the freshman quarterback to a defensive skill set that he had not seen against the Aggies from Texas.  (Though we admire his toughness).  This is a credit and testament who had the players ready to play the week after LSU and the players who came out and asserted themselves from the opening kickoff.

While we are at it, let’s take a look at the SEC East.  We’ll wait a minute so you can cringe.  Some seriously ugly stuff is going on in the other half of the conference, folks.  Florida controls its destiny and has a facially respectable 7-2 record, though the losses to Tennessee and Arkansas (by three touchdowns) make you question the Gators’ bona fides.  Next, they must beat a powerful LSU team in Baton Rouge on Saturday, in the delayed Hurricane Bowl (remember all that hoo ha? We are betting LSU does.)  If Florida should lose Tennessee holds the tiebreaker.  So, if the Volunteers can get by Missouri and Vanderbilt, they would represent the East in the SEC Championship despite losing three conference games in a row (Texas A&M, Alabama, South Carolina) and giving up nearly 600 yards of offense to Kentucky last Saturday.  Kentucky, y’all.  And we are talking about the good teams from over there.  General Neyland is whirling around in his grave.

No use worrying about any of that.  The next game is the important one because it is the next one.  The University of Tennessee (Chattanooga) Moccasins come to Tuscaloosa on Saturday.  As this past Saturday showed, you better not take anyone for granted.  We are also holding our breath that this is not the year that some reporter asks Coach Saban about Auburn, or the SEC Championship, or the election results, before the game, thus causing his head to explode.

Roll Tide, everyone.

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MSU Grades

WJOX:

Gary:  ...... and in the second half, Auburn did not make a single first down.

Greg: Yeah, great effort by the Bulldogs. Give Kirby Smartt credit for making the right adjustments at the half.

Gary:  It looks like we have a call on the Georgia Fan Line.....Brian In Birmingham, you're on with Greg and Gary. What's on your mind this morning?

Brian: Guys, I'm really proud of my Dawgs this morning. 

Greg:  You should be. 

Gary:   Big upset.

Brian:  It's just.....well, I've got a question, maybe you can help me out.

Gary:   Sure. What's on your mind?

Brian:   Well, my boss is a big Alabama fan, and I was up kinda late after the game last night, you know, and.....well there is this project I'm working on and it's not quite as far along as i thought it would be, with the game and all, so.....Do you think that since Georgia won the West for Alabama, that my boss might cut me some slack Monday morning if the project is a little late?

Greg:   Uhhhhhh, I'm not so sure, Brian.  Your boss is probably expecting you to play to a standard.....it's the 24 Hour Rule, you know?

Brian:    That's what I was afraid you would say....

Gary:    Trust the Process, Brian.

WLAC:

Bill: .....and with the win over Kentucky, the Vols' record in the conference stands at 3-3, 7-4 overall. Next up is Travis......good morning Travis, you're on Vol Calls....

Travis:   Hey, Bill, thank for taking my call.

Bill:  My pleasure.

Travis:    So, have I got it right?  When Tennessee beats Vanderbilt, we will be in a four-way tie for the East with the head-to-head tie breaker over everybody else?

Bill:   Not exactly. The best we can hope for is a tie with Florida. The Gators control their own destiny. A win over LSU puts them a game up on Tennessee. A Florida loss and a UT win forces the tie, and we would have the tie breaker.

Travis:  Assuming?   Assuming?  I've got something you can assume you [bleep]. 

Bill:  Hey, now, there's no need for that sort ....

Travis:  No need? You know what you need, you [bleep]. How can you think that Florida will beat LSU?  This is supposed to be Vol Calls, right ..... not [bleep] Calls.

Bill:  OK, I take you point.

Travis:  So, when we win the East with the tie breaker, we play Auburn in Atlanta right?

Bill:  Uh......No, Travis, that would be Alabama.

Travis:  Ala [bleep] Bama! You're crazy. Auburn is going to beat the [bleep] out of Alabama in the Iron Bowl. Nick [bleep] Saban is going to take a ride on the [bleep] Gus Bus and never come back! We're going to be playing Auburn for the SEC [bleep] Championship.

Bill:  Uhhhh, Travis, I guess you didn't know, but Georgia beat Auburn yesterday. It's over. Alabama is the West Champion whatever happens in the Iron Bowl........Travis? ........ Travis?

Have we lost Travis?

Travis:  No.....I'm still here.....it's just.....well after that 49-10 game, I set my couch on fire, and it burned my whole apartment complex down.....so......[bleep] [bleep] [bleep]

Bill:  Yeah.....well.....just.....I don't know.....maybe.....take it one game at a time......

WVUR

Shasta:   ......so I would say to the caller, that she ought to go on-line and add her name to the petition demanding the Electoral College respect the will of the people.

Patrice:  Good advice, Shasta.  Let's take another call.....Justin, good morning, welcome to I Feel Your Pain.

Justin:   Yeah. Look. I mean. I just can't believe it.

Shasta:  ...... neither can we, Justin, neither can we.

Justin:   Everything was looking good. We had momentum. We had heart.  The opposition was a bad joke. They had no organization, no coherent strategy, nobody respected them. I just can't believe we lost.

Patrice: ..... we can't believe it either, Justin. But that's why we're here for you, and for all the others in our community who are hurting right now.

Justin:   I appreciate that.  I just wish there were more of us. That community you mentioned hasn't been showing up. Typical Vandy students. Skipping the first quarter. No wonder the team lost focus.

Shasta: I don't think I follow you.

Justin:  Vanderbilt students.  They are the worst fans in the conference. But that's no excuse for us losing to a bunch of politically correct snowflakes. At least we have a better overall record.

Patrice:  I'm still not following you, there, Justin......

Justin:   I'm talking about my Commodores losing to Missouri of all people! Jeez! I still can't get over it.

Shasta:  Justin, I think you might have called the wrong show. This is I Feel Your Pain, we are a 24-7 service of Vanderbilt University Student Services whose mission is to provide a safe space on radio for members of the Vanderbilt Community to process the results of the presidential election and organize for radical action. It sounds to me as if you are wanting to dialogue about sports......am I right?

Justin:   Are you crazy?

Patrice:  Now that is a micro-aggression and I.....

Justin:  Micro-aggression? Our defense was a micro-aggression, giving up 481 yards to that bunch of.....I mean....come on.....we nearly beat Auburn the week before....would have too if the refs hadn't stolen a fumble recovery from us.....

Shasta:  Officials stealing from the people?  I think we have something to work with there, Patrice.

Patrice:  No, Shasta, Justin is merely trying to co-opt our empowerment with his patriarchy. Go away, Justin......go away.....call someone else.....

Justin:  I would, but when the call screener finds out I want to talk Vandy Football, I never get through......

Enough already with sampling the content of sports talk radio this weekend. You and I have some serious business to discuss......Let's start with this:

The Alabama Crimson Tide is the Champion of the SEC West. That's right. It's over. Book your trip to Atlanta......OK...OK....I know most of you booked your trip to the SEC Championship Game right after Media Days.....but it is now official. Auburn's loss to Georgia eliminated the last mathematical obstacle between Alabama and the 2016 SEC West title. 

Next item: Coach Saban is giving the players a day off from football this Monday. Prep for UT Chattanooga will begin on Tuesday. More about that game a bit later.

Two Saturday's ago, Mississippi State beat Texas A&M. Yesterday, Alabama handed its oldest and geographically closest rival a beating of historic proportions. 

The final 51-3 score could have been much worse but for a gift of favorable field position, and deep rotation of personnel on offense as well as defense. 

ESPN's broadcast crew remarked on the number of seasons Alabama has failed to score a TD in the first quarter following a game against LSU. They speculated that streak would continue given how physical last week's game in Baton Rouge had been. The offense made short work of that prediction, scoring 10 points in the first quarter, doubling that total in the second, and adding two more TDs before taking Jalen Hurts out with time to play in the third stanza. 

Even with Bo Scarbrough held out of the game with a tweaked knee, Alabama rushed for 218 net yards, and 615 yards of total offense. 

Jalen passed for more than 300 yards and ran for 100. The last time an Alabama quarterback achieved that particular milestone was......well the post-game notes don't say....but Jalen has rushed for more than 700 yards so far this season. He is only the second Tide QB to top the 700 yard mark and is only 56 yards behind the great Steadman Shealy for the season rushing record for a Crimson Tide QB.

In many ways, the game had the feel of a day at the office. Time of day contributed to that. The outcome was expected, and the season's biggest and most important goals are now coming over the horizon. So here is how I grade the game:

Offense: A Alabama focused on working the passing game; 17 of the Tide's 26 first downs came by way of completed passes. The Tide attempted 41 passes, completing 31 for 397 yards and 5 TDs. Jalen was intercepted once. 

Jalen completed 28 of 37 attempts for 347 yards and 4 TDs. His longest pass, 67 yards to Ardarius Stewart, travelled all of 18 inches through the air, and was a forward pass in only the most technical sense. Cooper Bateman completed 3 of 4 pass attempts for 50 yards and aTD.

Stewart had a career receiving day with 8 catches for 156 yards and 3 TDs. OJ Howard added 77 yards on 6 receptions. Calvin Ridley gained 26 yards on 4 receptions and caught 1 pass for a TD. Cam Sims, Josh Jacobs and Miller Forristall each made 3 receptions. Derek Kief, Damien Harris, Gehrig Dieter and Trevon Diggs each had a reception. Diggs' was good for a TD. It was a good day to play receiver for Alabama: 10 different players caught passes, and the Tide's 5 TD passes tied for second all time inTD passes in a single game. The record of 7 was set in 1950 against Southern Miss. 

It was also a good day to be a backup running back. Josh Jacobs, Ronnie Clark and Derrick Gore all had carries. Jalen gained 100 net yards rushing on 11 runs and scored a rushing TD. Damien Harris carried 3 times for 9 yards.  

The offense had 8 drives that gained 40 or more yards [63, 67, 66, 73, 43, 84, 58, 61] that produced 6 TDs and 2 FGs. Alabama converted 7 of 13 third downs, but only controlled the ball for 27:22. 

The two turnovers, a lost fumble and an interception, keep the Offense from earning the +.

Defense: A MSU earned 274 yards of total offense, but was held to less than 100 yards rushing [94]. The Puppies achieved 17 first downs but converted only 7 of 20 third downs and was unsuccessful on each of four 4th down conversion attempts.

State had 14 meaningful offensive possessions; the Bulldogs punted 7 times, turned the ball over on downs 4 times,  threw an interceptions and missed a field goal attempt. 

Reuben Foster, Minkah Fitzpatrick, Rashaan Evans and Dalvin Tomlinson each recorded 6 tackles. Ronnie Harrison and Da'Ron Payne were each credited with 5 stops. 

The Defense notched 8 tackles for lost yardage [3 sacks], forced a fumble [Raekwon Davis] broke up 7 passes and hurried the State QB 12 times. Freshman Antony Averett started at corner and was picked on throughout the day to no avail. He made 4 tackles and broke up 2 passes. 

Tony Brown started at the Star position, and made an interception.

Special Teams:

Place Kicking:       A+ Griff was good from 30, 28 and 39 and was perfect on 6 PAT attempts.

Kickoffs:      A- Griff and JK Scott shared kickoff duties. Griff averaged 64.2 yards on 8 kicks 4 of which were touchbacks. Scott kicked off once for 65 yards. The coverage team gave up a 50 yard kick return, earning the slight downgrade.

Punting:      A JK punted 3 times for an average of 51.3 yards. He dropped 1 inside the State 20 and 1 punt resulted in a touchback.

Coaching:      A The participation report lists 67 players who saw action in the game. The stat sheet reports the Tide was penalized once for 5 yards.

The game plan-work on the passing game-suggests the coaching staff were confident in the outcome. Giving the players a rest day before the game with UT Chattanooga likewise suggests a degree of realistic confidence in a win this coming Saturday. It also reflects a serious focus on the first in the final stretch of four games standing between the 2016 Crimson Tide and the CFB Championship.

There remains no room for error. Washington, Clemson and Michigan, the three teams rounding out the CFB-PO bracket with Alabama, all lost Saturday. Auburn may no longer have a shot at a playoff spot, but nothing makes the Barn's season like spoiling the Tide's. 

Alabama is on a record setting win streak, and Coach Saban is guaranteed to set a new mark for wins while coaching a team ranked number one. This has already been a special season-Jalen Hurts has singlehandedly made it so-and it promises to be one of the all-time greatest.

I hope you are having fun with it......because I sure am!

Roll Tide, Y'all......

The Commissioner    

Tire Store Report LSU

Nothing quite like a game at night in Baton Rouge.  Especially when you win it. 

LSU had not been shut out in Tiger Stadium since 2002.  Team called Alabama did it.  LSU was being coached then by a guy who was slowly rebuilding their program named Nick Saban.  Small world, is it not?

Thanks for a great winning edition of The Grades, Commissioner.  This annual Game of the Century stuff is getting a little tiresome.  Just to expand on a few things.

Offense:  Plagued by really bad field position and some play calling that left us scratching our heads, Alabama just could not get going in the first half.  Credit good hard defensive play by LSU for part of that.  To be honest, we also think we probably made the wrong reads on a few plays.  Coach Kiffin, I think, sometimes takes the heat when the correct option was the quarterback keeper and we decide on the field to hand it off, or we decide to throw it when a run would have been better.

I understand that we have a lot of talent at receiver that we just don’t get the ball to enough times.  Perhaps that will change.  Hurts seems mature beyond his years and we understand why the coaches want him on the field.   However, the places we have issues are when running the ball straight ahead has been terribly effective and we suddenly go away from that.  Our first trip to the red zone was earned by pounding the ball straight ahead with Bo Scarbrough.  Now, we understand he may have had to leave the game with an injury that required going to the training room, but still.  From that point we attempted three passes more or less into the end zone.  Three difficult passes.  Why?

We know there is a lot to offensive play-calling we don’t understand.  We do, though, know about using tools.  Sometimes you need a relatively small, precision type tool that works in just one instance -- maybe like the little tool you use to tighten a loose valve core stem.  But some jobs….  Some jobs just require finding the biggest hammer you happen to have lying around and beating the bejeezus out of something.  Seemed to us like on Saturday night that we’d take a few effective swings with the hand held sledge, then switch over to the feeler gauge we use to gap spark plugs.  Maybe it’s just a lesson learned and next time we’ll keep swinging the hammer till the job is done.

Defense:  Wow.  Just wow.  Alabama gained 323 yards in total offense on Saturday night, on what was clearly not its best night, partly owing to a talented and well-planned LSU defense and partly due to its own miscues.  LSU gained 16 yards less than that over the last two games against Alabama combined.  Let that sink in just for a minute.  Alabama did not improve its red zone performance statistics because LSU never got into the red zone.  And let’s recall, we aren’t exactly talking about the Little Sisters of Charity JV team here.  LSU recorded nearly 650 yards of offense two weeks ago against Mississippi.  Granted that Mississippi is no defensive juggernaut, but it’s hard to gain that kind of yardage against anyone.  LSU averaged gaining 3.8 yards per pass, which was more than three times better than its yards per rush.

The regular season, sadly to our way of thinking, is now 75% done -- only three games remain.  At this point, it is not premature to consider this defensive team’s relative place.  Are they the best defensive team in the SEC?  Yes, and by a pretty good bit.  Are they the best defensive team in the country?  It’s hard to tell comparing conferences/opponents/etc.  (Of course, given that some conferences have apparently abandoned it entirely *looks askance at Big 12* the competition may not be as fierce as it once was.)  It’s safe to say any discussion of that point would include Alabama and there are several metrics by which they could lay claim to the title. 

Is this Saban’s best defense at Alabama?  Too early to tell.  We’ll get back to you in eight weeks or so.  We are willing to say they could be.  There are few, very few, teams that could suffer the loss of a talented athlete and team leader like Eddie Jackson and hardly miss a beat.  Thinking back, though, we are hard pressed to name a defensive down where things went badly for Alabama because Eddie wasn’t back there.  We’ll just go with, we probably would have had a pick six with him in the game.

I’ve had a discussion with a couple of loyal readers about the importance of the fact that this defense doesn’t rely on one star player.  Some defenses do (for Exhibit A, you might look at what happened to Texas A&M after Garrett left Saturday’s contest).  Alabama has in the past.  This defense has players that would be stars on most any other team -- here they are part of the machinery.  For example, Leonard Fournette had one carry on Saturday night where the stars seemed to be aligning for him.  Blocking was good up the middle.  The play design had moved our defensive backs to the edges, and #7 broke through the line.  There was a lot of green grass in front of him.  It was a vintage play for him and usually results in the next play being a PAT after he outruns everyone on the field to the end zone.  Something happened though.  Shaun Dion Hamilton, lying on the ground, reached out and grabbed his legs, stopping him for a short gain.  His frustration was palpable.  Players lying prone on the ground don’t tackle Leonard Fournette with their arms.  To borrow a phrase “Alabama does”.  You say you don’t really know much about Hamilton?  You should.  He’s a junior, second on the team in tackles with 40, 7.5 for losses, plus two sacks despite being thought of as a run stopper.  If he played for just about any other team in the conference, he’d be the best player on their defense.

Don’t miss an opportunity to see this group of young men play.  They are really good at tackle football.  You’ll be able to tell your grandchildren stories like, “I remember one time when Alabama went down to LSU, they had this temporary head coach that didn’t really speak English and what a lot of people say is one of the best running backs to ever play in the conference, and they didn’t cross our 30-yard line all night.  Now that was a defense.”

Special Teams:  We don’t know what is up with Adam Griffith.  Something in his swing mechanics is still causing him to pull longer field goal attempts to the left.  It hasn’t cost us, yet.  We hope he is not suffering a recurrence of his back issues.  We tend to think not given the good length he is getting on his kickoffs.  And, actually, the field goals we are missing have plenty of distance.  Gold Star to Cooper Bateman for getting an ugly snap placed on the PAT.  Seems like such a little thing, but if you’ve never tried to do it you should some time.  It’ll make you appreciate just how delicate the timing can be.

Punt returns need a little more practice.  Unfortunately, we don’t think catching them in practice is at all like catching them in the game.  Nothing for that than to just keep doing it.  We miss you #4.

Blocking the field goal was huge and deserves a high grade in a game as tight as this one.

Punting itself is a weapon.  J.K. Scott is putting up numbers that should again have him in the hunt for conference and national honors.  Playing with bad field position the entire first half, he helped give the Alabama defense enough room to preserve the shut out.

Coaching.  Despite what we see as a few play-calling shortcomings, this was a well-coached game.  It’s hard to overstate how difficult it is to play down there.  LSU figured out our snap count and regularly jumped it.  They do that to a lot of teams when they are at home.  We handled them anyway.  We thought Coach Saban handled the snippy question from the on-field reporter who started out by asking him “LSU managed to hold you scoreless for three quarters...” with an appropriate amount of humor and pointing out the obvious.  We might have been a shade more condescending.  And an extra gold star to Coach Scott Cochran.  The Alabama football team is in extraordinary physical condition.  In a game like Saturday’s, they have to be. 

On to Mississippi State.  In year’s past, it has been a challenge for Alabama to put the LSU clash in the rearview mirror and give its best effort against Mississippi State.  As usual, a team that has looked terrible for the season suddenly seems to round in to shape at time to play Alabama.

Roll Tide, everyone.  Go teach the Bulldogs to behave.

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LSU Grades

Time travel has always been a staple of popular fiction. Lots of books and and movies use the idea of going back in time as a device to drive the plot. Some are better than others. I like the original "Back To The Future" better than the two sequels. "Dr. Who" is the most popular TV show on British television. The whole deal of Superman flying backwards around the Earth in order to go back in time?  Pretty lame. 

But time travel isn't real is it? I mean, you can't actually go back to some earlier, simpler time when life was less complicated, problems were fewer, and nobody ever heard of Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, or the "Hurry Up No Huddle" offense can you? At least I didn't think so, until last night when I watched Alabama beat LSU in a game that looked like something out of 1959.

For three quarters, the Tide and Tigers battled each other to a standstill. In the first half, Alabama had average field position somewhere between the tunnel into the visitor's locker room and the official wearing the red hat who keeps track of TV time outs. In the third quarter, Bama  managed to move the ball, but squandered a perfect scoring opportunity. All the while, the Tide defense was waging a ferocious battle of attrition, stuffing Leonard Fournette, and bludgeoning Tiger QB Danny Etling. For its part, the LSU defense was keying on Jalen Hurts, making the freshman look like......well.....a freshman. At any moment, the game was going to be broken open with a big play on special teams.

Then the fourth quarter arrived, and The Process asserted itself.

In the game's final stanza, Alabama gained 103 net yards on 20 rushing plays, threw the ball only twice, earned 7 first downs, scored 10 points, controlled the ball for 13:42 and held LSU to a mere 15 yards of total offense. It was a complete and demoralizing pummeling of a team as rich in NFL-quality talent as crabmeat au gratin is in cheese and heavy cream. And, just so you know ...... it was the sixth consecutive victory over a Western Division rival whose fans marinate in a bitter mix of envy, frustration, and resentment.

Because I am now completely out of food metaphors, here is how I grade the game:

Offense: B- Alabama gained 323 yards of total offense [216 rushing], earned 16 first downs, converted 7 of 17 third down opportunities, and possessed the football for 33:35. 

Jalen had his worst day passing, completing only 10 of 19 pass attempts for  107 yards, with no TDs and an interception at the Alabama 32 yard line on the third play of the game.

Ardarius Stewart was the leading receiver with 55 yards gained on 3 receptions. That stat line is a bit misleading, however, because a single catch in the Tide's first possession of the third quarter gained 52 yards. Calvin Ridley gained 23 yards on 2 receptions; his longest was 21 yards. Freshman TE, Miller Forristall caught a single pass for 22 yards. Trevon Diggs, Josh Jacobs, Damien Harris and O. J. Howard each caught a single pass. Bottom line: 97 yards of Alabama's 107 yards passing were gained on only three plays. 

Jalen was harassed all evening. He was sacked once, lost a fumble, had two passes broken up behind the line of scrimmage, and was officially "hurried" 3 times. Play selection contributed greatly to his woes. For reasons that pass understanding, Coach Kiffin insisted on calling screens and short passes to the shallow flats when it was obvious that LSU had studied Alabama game film and schemed accordingly. 

Perhaps the single worst example of bad play selection came on Bama's first drive of the second half. Following the deep pass to Stewart, the Tide had a 4th and goal at the LSU 1 yard line. Instead of huddling up, sending in a formation with two tight ends, and some extra beef like Da'Ron Payne or Dalvin Tomlinson to lead block, for Bo Scarbrough, the Tide tried to "go fast" as if LSU was going to be caught by surprise with a running play at their own goal line. Instead of powering the ball into the end zone, Jalen was tackled for a loss and the Tide turned the ball over on downs. 

One wag has suggested that Coach Kiffin's play-calling card be switched out for an actual Waffle House menu. 

Jalen was the Tide's leading rusher, gaining 114 net yards on 20 runs. Harris added 53 yards on 12 rushes, and Scarbrough gained 52 net yards on 11 runs. Alabama averaged 4.2 yards per rush and the only time the ground game was ineffective was when we insisted on trying to pass. At least the defense bailed the offense out when two turnovers gifted LSU excellent field position.

The Tide offense had 11 meaningful offensive possessions; 6 were 3 and Outs. The offense had 4 sustained drives [67, 54, 90, 50] that resulted in a missed FG, a turnover on downs, a TD and a FG. Play in the 4th quarter made all the difference. Alabama was the better conditioned team, and with the game in the balance, imposed its will on LSU. With 4:05 to play in the 3rd quarter, Alabama took possession of the football at its own 10 yard line. It drove 90 yards in 12 plays, spanning the end of the third and the first 1:50 of the fourth quarter to score the game's only touchdown. The defense quickly got the ball back with an interception at the Tide 43. Alabama drove 50 yards in 15 plays consuming 9:51 and put the game out of reach with Adam Griffith's 25 yard FG. 

Alabama totally dominated LSU in the final 20 minutes of the game. It was truly remarkable.

Defense: A+ Over 124 years, the Tide defense may have played a better game than it did on November 5, 2016. If so, I am at a loss to say when it was. 

LSU was held to only 125 yards of total offense [33 yards rushing]. LSU had more punts [8] than it did first downs [6], and in the 4th quarter, possessed the football for fewer than 90 seconds. 

Reuben Foster was the Tide's leading tackler with 11 stops [2 solo]. Marlon Humphrey is credited with 8 tackles [6 solo]. Shaun Dion Hamilton made 7 tackles and Dalvin Tomlinson and Ryan Anderson were each credited with 6. Collectively, the Tide defense recorded 9 tackles for lost yardage including 5 sacks. Minkah Fitzpatrick intercepted LSU's Entling to set up the final scoring drive. Defenders broke up 4 passes, hurried the QB 3 times and blocked a FG attempt [Ronnie Harrison].

Special Teams:

Place Kicking: B- Griff missed....hooked left....from 42, was good from 25 and made the game's only PAT attempt.

Kickoffs: A- Griff kicked off three times for an average of 63 yards. He kicked 2 touchbacks and the return team allowed a single 27 yard kick return.

Punting: A- JK Scott punted 5 times for an average of 51.6 yards. He dropped 2 inside the LSU 20, but when punting out of the Tide endzone, he managed only a 38 yard punt. The return team only returned a single punt for 1 yard, and one LSU punt was muffed, but recovered. LSU's punting was outstanding. Consequently, Alabama had miserable field position in the first half.

Coaching: B- The participation report lists only 47 players who saw action, but I suspect the Game Book is compiled by the home team; it lists Jalen Hurts starting a Nickel Back and JK Scott at Free Safety. Alabama was penalized 6 times. Two pre-snap penalties were called in red zone possessions. One was clearly correct on the LT. The second, on the LG was a complete mystery. At one point in the third quarter, frustration on both teams led to a situation that could have spiraled out of hand, but the officials called offsetting penalties and both coaching staffs settled their players down.

A road win over a good SEC West opponent, is a presumptive A. The main driver behind this grade, however, is play calling on offense. I've said all I am going to about that.....for this week.

For once, the officiating played no significant role in the game. It was far from perfect. But I cannot point to any malpractice that skewed the game in one direction or the other. A missed holding call on Jalen's TD run is only fitting, given that Alabama's opponents through 9 games have been penalized for holding a grand total of 1 time. I guess the prospect of playing against the best defensive line in all of college football causes every coach to emphasize how important it is for the offensive line to avoid holding!

Even though Coach Stallings might think the game was too high scoring, it really was not a throw back to a bygone era. This was a close contest with a worthy opponent. Coach Saban summed it up with the on field reporter when he said "they held us scoreless for three quarters, but we held them scoreless for four."

Say what you will about the wisdom of LSU firing Les Miles, Coach Orgeron seems to be doing a good job. Coach O may be eccentric, but the people in Louisiana love him. The "Sign Of The Week" on ESPN Gameday read: "We finally have a coach who doesn't speak with an accent!" If Orgeron gets the LSU job permanently, the Tigers are likely to be pretty darn good for quite a while longer.

Elsewhere around the conference: One week after getting embarrassed by Auburn, Arkansas beat Florida. Georgia managed to eek out a win over Kentucky. Mississippi State upset Texas A&M, and Vanderbilt was a bad replay reversal of a fumble recovery away from  forcing Auburn into overtime. I'm not really sure what any of that means for Alabama, except that the most important game of the season.....so far.....is this coming Saturday against the MSU Bulldogs in Tuscaloosa. As Coach Saban said, we are already in the playoffs. We have to be 1-0 every weekend. 

So let's go back to the future....with back-to-back championships as in 2011 and 2012.....and beyond......

Roll Tide, Y'all

The Commissioner