Tennessee Week

True Story

My junior year in college I took a history course that I'm sure had some prosaic official name like "U.S. Southern History 1607-1860" but which all students referred to as "History of the Old South".  On Friday morning of Tennessee week the professor showed up at ten Hoor and said something relatively similar to the following:

"Good morning.  For today's lecture it is necessary that you understand something of a key Southern geological feature.  The New Madrid Fault is a fracture in the Earth's crust that manifests beneath the Mississippi River, roughly centered near where Tennessee meets Arkansas and Missouri and radiating through the surrounding area.  This fault line has been active for thousands of years, of course, and also has affected the region in relatively modern times.  In 1812, a massive earthquake shook the region, altering the course of the Mississippi River such that it completely submerged the town of New Madrid, Missouri.  The river itself even flowed backwards for a time. The river channel was permanently changed.

The fault is still active.  A similar earthquake today would devastate Memphis and have serious affects as far away as St. Louis, Nashville, and Jackson, Mississippi.  It might be as destructive as an earthquake along its more famous cousin, the San Andreas Fault in southern California. As many of you know, people who live in that region have concerns that the San Andreas Fault might one day rupture and allow a portion of California to "slide off" into the Pacific Ocean.  Scientists discount this for various reasons.  

Despite the size and location of the New Madrid Fault, however, scientists are sure that Alabama will never be in danger of sliding off into the Gulf of Mexico, because . . . Tennessee sucks.  Roll Tide.  Beat Tennessee. Class dismissed." 

And he gathered up his things and walked out of the room.  I hope that you all have a pleasant weekend.  Roll Tide.  Beat Tennessee.  If you haven't purchased a cigar yet, we recommend you leave work early today.

The Correspondent from the Tire Store

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